Coming Out of the Closet: The Sexual Awakening of Women!

EroticaRomanceI want to talk to you about Erotica.


Because I think its triggered something that was long overdo….

The Sexual Awakening of Women.

You thought the burning of the bras was a big deal?

Baby, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!


***Warning, this article is rated mature!****


I want to drag some truths out of the closet concerning Erotica and even do my best, as a writer, to explain correctly the differences between Erotica and Porn, the old time Romance novels, and the in-the-now Erotica Romances. I also want to explain why I think this subject is very healthy for women. And that’s not to exclude men or anyone else. Because YES, Men are buying the hell out of Erotica Romances or books with Erotic Romance elements too…thanks to Ereaders who allow them to do so without catching hell from gawking eyeballs.

But this article isn’t about men because let’s face it, sexually, men are different from women. And the society rules which apply to women, have never applied to men.


Until now….those rules, they are a changin’!


There is a pretty big closet out there, packed with countless people. And I believe, that closet holds the sexual awakening of many women. The problem is, that gazillion- mile- deep- closet is about to bust wide open, or well, in all honesty, has. And as I said above, there are so many people in it, that just because the doors blew off awhile back, those closet huggers are still tumbling out.



Now a few or however many months ago, Oprah attempted to touch the subject of Erotica and Porn. In my opinion, and as I wrote on her website–she and her peoples seriously failed. With porn stars speaking for both businesses, well that didn’t quite work out in my eyes. They didn’t draw enough of a line between the term Erotica and Porn. They just made Erotica look like a prettier word for Porn. (My opinion only) So I am going to give it a shot, as a writer of Erotica, for those who might still be hiding their novels under their beds, and or not telling their friends at all that they have discovered something wonderful for fear of being judged. Don’t let anyone judge you because believe me, they are probably doing it too, and if not…will be!


First, let me say that I discovered Erotica in the late 80’s or early 90’s. I was in New Jersey for a few years and my brothers girlfriend and friends were passing a movie around to all the other ladies in the neighborhood. The movie, these women said, was a MUST see. And I can NOT tell you how many damn times that movie got passed or watched, but I can tell you they probably wore the video tape thin. Because months down the road, it was still be passed around—for first time viewers and second, third, fourth, and more time watchers. The movie was called Two Moon Junction and I can still remember every detail.

Two Moon Junction was downright Erotica…however, there was an actual well-thought out story revolving around the building of romance between the two characters. And the love scenes weren’t cheesy or cheaply done. The effects, the lens, the storyline, everything was very well written and portrayed. I am only sad that I didn’t write it.

When I came back down South, (to Virginia) my girlfriends and I got together for a movie night. I suggested that movie, Two Moon Junction, assuming they had already seen it. Because everyone up North had…every wife, girl friend, or single woman at every party, BBQ, or Family or neighborhood affair was talking about it. However, back down South, though, all my gal pals were clueless. Hell, I couldn’t even find the movie in the video stores when the businesses up North couldn’t even keep the thing in stock.

Little did I realize that maybe Two Moon Junction was way ahead of its time. But I did realize that once again, women were made to walk one virginal and saintly line, while men got to be the player on another. In fact, to quote a very dear guy friend of mine, (in the early 90’s) "Women should never tell a guy that she has slept with more than one man before him. Most men can’t handle it. even if he says he can. If she is looking for something serious, lie. If she isn’t looking for something serious, and doesn’t care of he sticks around—tell the truth. But don’t cry in the morning when everyone calls her a slut." Now before anyone attacks my nameless friend, these weren’t his beliefs. These were the beliefs of a majority…and how people were then. (And still are in many circles.)

And that was a cold hard truth, but very real in the world stomping around about me. So imagine how I went against the grain, and still am by writing Erotica. Unfortunately, I am not close to any of my family, but when telling a family member about a new book I had coming out called Wyntress Nyght’s Supernatural Crack (With Noble Romance Publishing) I had to sugar coat it big time. And that sucked. In fact, I couldn’t quite understand why I had to sugar coat anything. She was one of the ones who loved Two Moon Junction! lol And while some guys one night sat around watching a cheesy, raunchy porn flick (poorly made and written) and I frowned, she jumped down my throat saying, "What’s wrong? Its just sex!" Yet I was thinking, but very unrealistic sex…and the women and their fake moans are so not really enjoying it. This flick, is totally made for men…and not women. Still, when it came to telling her what genre I was breaking into—you’d thought the heavens cracked open and the holiest of thou was ready to smite me—through her judgmental and disappointed eyes lol.


Regardless, let me attempt to clear up the subject of Erotica, by my own experience and opinion. To me, it is the upgraded version of Romance. I’ve watched this genre grow over the years at the rate of warp speed. And it’s still booming, and its still growing, and despite how many literary people want to ignore and deny the fact that its a real genre, watch out, because the sales prove that it is!

What’s the difference between Erotica and Romance? Erotica doesn’t use so many shiny words to cloak the actual act of sex. And I think, but mostly for women as they are breaking free from the old stereotypes and discovering their own sexuality, that they are enjoying the bluntness of Erotica more and more.


Because they are erasing the unfair lines between men and women–what rules apply to one, Women are taking back, and then saying to hell with rules altogether. Women deserve a healthy sex life just like any other person on the planet….and may the Gods help the fool who tells a woman she doesn’t.


So, again, what is the difference between Erotica and Romance?

Both have stories that either revolve around two characters hooking up. However, even that is now changing. Erotica is stepping on new ground. An Erotica Romance can revolve around two soon-to-be lovers if they beat the odds against them but can also be about two characters hooking up— only those characters are revolving around a very in-depth and well written story that is instead the main focus. It’s called or one example is– Fantasy having the elements of erotica romance. Or An Historical Action having the elements of erotica romance. 

That’s right…no longer do the normal rules apply. Now a days, you can open an Erotica Romance up, and it only be a sub genre. The main genre can be Fantasy, Paranormal, Historical  (and countless others) headlining. However, when they do hook up, its not forced. It’s just a natural occurrence that happens when the flow of the story calls for it.

It’s no different than watching Action, Fantasy, or whatever– movies with sex scenes either—even if the sex isn’t the main plot of the story (but can be depending on what kind of book  or movie you choose).

For instance, the movie 300–elements of erotica Romance but the story did not revolve around it.  Spartacus Blood & Sand–elements of Erotica Romance, but again, not revolving around it.  Pretty Woman–that could have been Erotica Romance straight up because it revolved around two characters— if they would have showed a bit more detail in a classy way to fit the story. (And again, Erotica carries a touch of class and taste. It’s not low budget sex.) Last example, Gone With the Wind (the first movie) *gasps* Don’t panic. That was a straight up Romance. However, if they would have shown Scarlett and Rhett getting down, then it would have been Erotica.

My point however is, now a days even how these books are written from the ageless Romances, are different. Characters overcoming all odds in order to hook up doesn’t have to be the main dish on the table.


Now…the difference in words….

Romance used pretty purple prose to flower up the act of sex.

For example:

He slipped his hand across her treasures. When he brought his fingers to light, he smiled, watching them drip with the honey of her great desire and want.

Now Erotica would be more blunt with words. It can be written just as pretty but you don’t have to do a lot of thinking as to what certain things mean–like what treasure, what is her honey, and what do you mean its dripping?

For instance, in Erotica, you will not see a man’s penis called the wild steed in which thrusts her madly. You will see a man’s penis written as– penis, cock, dick, or so on. To describe a woman’s genitalia, you could see words such as clit, pussy, etc. And instead of using honey, well the author might just flat out say cum.  But don’t let such blunt words fool you or frighten you off, because they exist in a world of imagination, style, and polished craft.


And as shocking as those words are, women are coming to embrace them once again as fluently as they were used in Ancient Times without *gasp* any shame. And those same women are becoming more and more assertive during sex. They no longer laying there for the man to do his business. Instead, that man better get his business on because she sure as hell will be getting hers.

And women are learning more about self pleasure and how their bodies respond, react, and crave certain touches. No longer are they whispering the fact that they had sex (even with their husbands) because society snaps the whip on such revelations, but women are saying to hell with society and religious rule and announcing their sexuality proudly. They are throwing sex parties (a party where people can buy sexual toys, aids) and they are throwing their man on the bed and taking what the hell they want.  Excitedly, hearing that a woman lived out her life never experiencing an orgasm or not experiencing one until she was in her 40’s and still they were few and far between… is coming to a dead end. Women are learning how to have orgasms, and they are learning how to have them regularly.  And they are learning how to make them happen for themselves so that they can teach their partners how. And guess what, the closet is wide open and the lights are ON! lol


We are witnessing a healthy sexual awakening happening right before our eyes on the brink of a new age. And while TV officials such as Oprah are slow to getting on the bandwagon, everyone else has jumped on, is jumping on, off, and raving about it. And to correct the gossip…Erotica is not the same as Porn. Erotica is healthy sex tastefully portrayed in books and in movies with real actual stories revolving around or within the world of two characters—unless the characters are the ones revolving around the said world.


As Robin Williams said, and I quote:

"Erotica is when you use a feather. Porn is when you use the whole chicken!"


And whether or not society is ready for it…Erotica is here to stay. So I raise my glass to all the ladies out there enjoying all the many genres Erotica embraces. I wish you many heated and passionate nights, many multiple orgasms, and the freedom to glow from them the next morning without shame! *winks*




Happy Erotica to all…and to all a passionate night!


C.H. Scarlett

Doing Nothing

My friend Adam says that in the society we live in, the most radical thing to do, is to do nothing. So many of our normal everyday activities are about commerce and consumption. Doing nothing, by definition, does not involve spending money or consuming resources.

Nothing is not the same as apathy. The latter is a careless reluctance to act or engage. Nothing, is a consciously chosen action, and it is not the same as idleness, time wasting, or boredom – if you get it right!

Doing nothing, is entering a stillness of body and mind – perhaps a little like meditation, but without discipline or intent. As such, it is a state of openness and acceptance, working with what life gives, being wholly in the moment and experiencing it. Good ways to do this include watching wild birds or animals, gazing at the clouds, watching the patterns of light changing through leaves, looking at rain falling, or snow. It is quiet time, without haste or hassle. If life ‘in the fast lane’ seems both dangerous and pointless to you, then step out, stop. Sit or lie, recline, lounge and otherwise let go for a while. You don’t have to be doing, making, earning, spending and consuming all the while. You do not have to be a cog in the great machine of the economy, churning relentlessly but going nowhere.

This is not time wasted. It is time for the soul, for breathing deeply and releasing tension. Stepping out of the chaos, it becomes possible to think, and from there, possible to make good decisions rather than rushed, ill-conceived ones.

My current ‘nothing’ time is first thing in the morning. I’ve taken to going to bed early enough that I get the sleep I need, and currently have the wonderful luxury of being able to wake naturally. Often I’m the first one awake in the household. I stay in bed for a while. I stretch and let my body get up to speed, rather than leaping out and forcing it into action. I contemplate anything and everything in a loose and unfocused way. Sometimes this results in plans and ideas, sometimes not. Either way is fine. When I feel ready to emerge from the duvet, I do so in a state of calm readiness for the day. As it happens, I work more effectively as a consequence, but that’s not the main motivation for doing it.

Doing nothing does not drive the economy or make a profit for anyone else. It does not feed money into government coffers, or push up the GDP that governments are so turned on by. It is conscious disengaging from the system. I will go back to work later, but for now, I will learn from my cat, stretch, enjoy the warmth and not move too much. Each morning, I have my moment of saying ‘No, I am not just a slave of the economic machine.’

Experts like my friend Adam, can spend long, happy hours doing nothing. For those under more financial pressure, it is going to be harder. If all you can find is a few minutes, grab them, and use them to full, glorious effect on consciously not doing anything of any economic value to anyone else. Relish the escape. Live.

Pagan Holidays for April 13, 2010

Rome will be having a two for one on this day in Ancient History. Of course they will be continuing onward with a Festival called Cerealia which started yesterday, but they will also be having a Spring Festival called Libertas that raises high and honors their Goddess named Liberty.  (hmmm for all those Urban Pagans living in New York, perhaps you could look towards your Statue of Liberty) This will also mark the Ides of Spring!

C.H. Scarlett