Tag Archives: Sex

Ancient Calendar & Pagan Holidays: June22 : Gwl o Bardd ends and a bit about Pan

The Welsh festival of the Bards, Gwyl o Bardd, ends at Sundown.


A Greek’s life was fairly simple or at least the things that made life worth living were. Good food, great company, conversations and, well, sex. Lots of it. They loved it so much, they revolved every God or Goddess that they could around it.

Pan might be one of the perfect examples of that. He was basically a Greek rockstar. All he did was party from meadow to forest and he defintly didn’t do it alone. Like any rockstar, Pan has his own legend of groupies, called the Nymphs. That meant, any party Pan was at, so were his sex-crazed Nymphs. And that meant a party with Pan was the best of all orgies.

Pan was half man and half goat completely driven by lust. In fact, his image aided the stereotypical image of the Devil etch it’s ways into the minds of many during the Dark Ages to come. And although Pan was beloved of all Greeks, there were a good many superstitions and safeguards surrounding him, which makes sense, since he was one of their oldest Gods.

The word “Panic” actually came from “Pan’s” name. It was a cry he made, creating “Panic” that his enemies felt, a spell, if you will, that drained them of all their power and strength. Some sources claim “Panic” was what women felt if they were walking in the woods alone being stalked by Pan.


Also, even though Pan was a God of the Shepherds, they were weary too and made sure to respect him. Because Pan partied all night, that meant he slept all day. Every Greek Herdsman knew to be quiet when wandering about the woods during daylight. No one wanted to wake Pan before he was ready to wake on his own.

Sometimes Pan was compared to Dionysus, claiming they were one in the same. Their Legends were certainly simuliar and Pan did take credit to sleeping with every one of Dionysus’s Maenads.

And since today, the Greeks would have been honoring Pan, let me also point out that even the Ancient Egyptians showed favor in him having a place called, The City of Pan.

Why is Sex so Offensive to Some?

As soon as I read this article in my local newspaper, ‘Ill. Prof. Apologizes for Sex-Toy Demonstration,’ I knew it would be perfect for this column.

A Northwestern University psychology professor had to apologize for allowing a couple to demonstrate the use of a sex toy during a discussion of sexual fetishes.

First off, this is a class of college age students enrolled in a human sexuality class (so what do their parents think they are learning?). And second, this was a voluntary discussion so the young adults (note: not elementary school age) were there because they chose to be and the professor warned them it would be graphic.

Of course, this has upset alumni and parents who complained about the demonstration.

Why? What is so wrong about sex that some people get so offended? European countries seem to be more relaxed about sexuality than the United States. Sex is a natural human act. Isn’t it more harmful to make people think that if they are interested in sex that they are somehow dirty, shameful and deviant?

I gotta love Professor J. Michael Baily’s closing comment—He said his critics have not made a compelling case as to why they object to this demonstration. He said he would give them an ‘F’ if he were grading their arguments. Apparently, the ones offended by the sex toy demo can’t even explain why.

Go figure.


Kelley Heckart

‘Timeless tales of romance, conflict & magic’


http://kelleysrealm.blogspot.com/ Check out my long hair hotties!




For some, spring’s song is the sound of a harsh battle horn, for others, new love, for all—certain danger.

Violence in Stories

One of the egroups I’m on (Worlds of Fantasy) got into a debate yesterday about violence in entertainment and in society. Whether or not violence in entertainment has increased was poked around as a notion. We were able to agree that on the whole, humans in western civilizations are not as violent as they used to be.

The vast majority of stories are driven, to some degree, by sex, death, or a combination thereof. These are subjects around which it is possible to weave vast, complex, meaningful tales. Just look at Shakespeare. Humans respond to sex and death and all the things those two activities create, in all kinds of ways. In seeking, and avoiding them, justifying them, punishing and rewarding people for them… all the many facets of the human condition can be played out.

It may be fair to say that modern entertainment focuses more on the details of the sexual and lethal activities than older stories did. That in itself doesn’t have to be a problem. Good stories can be told around detailed depictions. Go back to ancient writing and what you find is very light on description, heavy on telling, light on showing. Classic myths don’t spend pages establishing characters or pondering motivation. Preferences and styles change. But there’s no shortage of sex and violence. I read Ovid’s Metamorphosis last year, and the single most frequently occurring plot element was rape.

The more I think about it, the more I feel that modern story telling is doing some very similar things to that classic Greek story telling. It’s become very focused on the sex and violence. There are films now whose sole purpose seems to be to shock, frighten and disgust audiences. There are Ovid stories that caught me very much the same way – it’s just about revelling in the ick. Our modern world is far tamer and safer than the ones the Greeks inhabited though. So why are doing this? I don’t know.

The context for sex and violence in the story is important I think. Sex and violence happening in the context of good story telling is very different from entertainment that is mostly depictions, with very little narrative reasoning. It’s the reasonlessness that bothers me most. When the ‘story’ is all about surface and immediate thrills and offers nothing deeper, then the violence and sex come through in very different ways. They aren’t just driving forces, they become the entirety, and that reduces everything down. Sex and death might underpin human experience, but they are not the sum and total of what we are.

Stories, like everything else, have their cycles and seasons. Currently people seem partial to immediacy, and intensity. Fast paced, in your face action, plenty of bare skin and a high death toll quite often makes for a successful film or book. Slower, more elaborate and involved story telling that isn’t a ‘page turner’ or ‘edge of the seat’ is out of fashion. The collective hunger is for thrills, not for thinking. There are, however, plenty of people who want to experience their stories in different ways.

The ways in which we tell each other stories (be those spoken, in books, films or computer games) informs our sense of what is normal. Most of us are not going to go out and emulate what we read or see. However, the entertainment we imbibe does affect how we perceive the world, how we understand our own lives, and what expectations we have. That makes me wonder where we are going with this, and what we might unwittingly be doing to ourselves.

Urban Paganism: Dealing with the Myths of Sex, Sex, & More Sex


During Ancient times in certain civilizations, during certain celebrations our Ancient Ancestors became famous for debauchery and free spirited orgies—according to up-to-date prying eyes.

Now a days, if you say you are going out to a Pagan gathering celebrating a fertility ritual, then all eyes and most mouths foam forming images of you stripping down to the buff and humping the leg off whatever moves. This in turn creates many myths, rumors, and false stereotypes concerning Paganism—and with that—many jerks who are more than prepared to use it to their full advantage.

That means many people will attempt to use Paganism as their excuse and means to influence others into their chosen behaviors. Meaning—you meet a guy or girl who claims to be Pagan –who then claims that its perfectly natural to take many lovers and sometimes at the same time.

Ah, no.

If you are new to the city, new to the country, new to Paganism in general, then don’t fall for that line no more than you’d fall for…

“Hey baby, are you tired?”

“Uh, no, why?”

“Because you’ve been runnin’ through my mind all night!”


Sex is not a requirement of Paganism—just an individual– depending on what they desire. Now that’s not to say anyone taking many lovers are in the wrong—just know its a choice, not a divine requirement.

For new Urban Pagans moving through crowds, you may be drawn to the elders or peers of your chosen path. Unfortunately there are many pervs and creeps out there moving under the guise of false Paganism. They will be so slick in pulling you in…so wise and so very charming. However, beware of what they attempt to teach you as law and beware of such lines:

*All Pagans must swing it up with many, many partners.

*If you want to be a real Pagan, then gender shouldn’t matter. We will practice by having a threesome. I have a friend and she is— (Sorry, but if you don’t have the desire to be with the same sex or the opposite, then that’s a personal choice—not a Pagan must. Now if you want to go along with a threesome, then by all means do so….but that makes you a Pagan person wanting do partake in a threesome—not a Pagan ordained rule that one must do so in order to be a Pagan at all.)

*Pagans share….everything and everyone. (We do with what we feel comfortable with sharing—that doesn’t mean your man if you don’t want to.)

*I will show you the face of God and or the Goddess through powerful sex magic! (whatever lol—there are many types of magic if a Pagan even DOES magic to begin with—some do not and for those who do—what KIND of magic is their choice—not a Pagan requirement.)

*Every ritual is a sex orgy.  (I doubt it—again a big myth.)

*We don’t need a condom or protection babe, I did a spell. (WHATEVER!!!!—and yes, some guys try to pull this one. Some girls too, believe it or not. Look, those who work magic know one thing is for certain—its better to cover all bases than to depend on one thing alone. So even though someone did a spell so you wouldn’t catch an STD (sexually transmitted disease) or get pregnant—use a brain and throw on extra protection. Make your sacred places bullet proof! Your body is YOUR TEMPLE—your sacred temple….now practice some personal worship and respect and don’t let anyone come in and trash the place permanently.)




The fact is this…in many ancient civilizations, thousands did have sex believing that through the woman—they were joining with the Goddess or through the man, they were joining with the God. But that’s in certain civilizations and not everyone was down with it romping up with many, many partners. Those who were had at it…those who weren’t kept with their own private and personal lovers experiencing divinity and sexual enlightenment through them.

Sex magic can be powerful, yes, for some, but like all magic, its what YOU feel drawn to and comfortable doing. Some create Sex Magic with a partner—some by themselves. *winks*

As Pagans, generally the only thing we have in common is the fact that we don’t care what everyone else is doing as long as it doesn’t harm us or others—but on whether or not we sex it up with those others—personal choice.

So watch out for the wanna-be Creeps posing as a Pagan just so they can get their groove on. Pagans can be with one partner, with an opposite gender, with the same gender, with more than one partner and gender, have open relationships or one on one relations—its all up to the person/persons involved—its not a part of the general term Paganism. While we believe sex is beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of….we don’t believe who does what and with how many creates a better or more knowledgeable Pagan. Be true to yourself and don’t fall for any tricks. be comfortable in your own Pagan skin…follow your heart, not someone’s words.

C.H. Scarlett

Women Issues : Sex, Suppression, & Orgasms

What do you call a woman who loves sex and enjoys it with different partners?

A slut.

What do you call men who love sex and has a different lover nearly every night?

A player.

And what do we think of players?

So many, including young men, aspire to be them.

Well we are bringing an end to such gibberish now. What do you say?


Long ago in Ancient times, having sexual encounters with a woman meant that the man was experiencing a spiritual act of love with the goddess herself. And women were taught wondrous arts of how to obtain orgasms, which would also awaken her senses and bring her closer to the divine forces of her Great Mother. In fact, in many cultures, an orgasm was one of the greatest of powers and forms of divination.

In ancient Egypt, women and men had trial marriages where the woman would live with the man and ‘try him out’ to see if relations with him and a living arrangement suited her.

And in the earliest of cultures we had Sacred Prostitutes who were great priestess, well kept in temples…and through them a man or woman could discover unimaginable divinities.

And then one day…a woman’s sexual freedoms became eternal damnation and myth. And this horrible thing happened:

According to JAMA (the Journal of the American Medical Association), 43 percent of American women suffer from some form of “Female Sexual Dysfunction”–often placing the blame on themselves for their inability to reach orgasm. SOURCE

Yes, hard to believe but somehow, someway, we women, FORGOT how to get off!

And men stopped worrying about it unless it made them feel less than a man—in which case—he blamed us.

And what is worse….we began blaming ourselves.

What? What happened to us?


Why the big difference between men and women? Is it various religions that has dug a sexually suppressed grave for our ladies and buried them in it? How come people think sex is more important to men? How come women need to lie or hide the fact that they have been with more than one man while men get to brag and flaunt every woman they have scored with? How come our own sisters will crucify us, call us sluts, whores, and ho’s if we desire more than one man?

But more importantly…..with all of our medical knowledge, how come its only been the span of a generation since the medical community have even and finally discovered that yes…women can have an orgasm to?

How come indeed?

That was yesterday….and today is a new day. While the answers above may never be answered nor matter anymore….today women can bust out of their ruts and have a sexual awakening. No longer is she expected to lay there, but rather take her lover by the hair and tell HIM what she likes and what she wants.

Now we know that virtually any woman can climax – and indeed have multiple climaxes – if the circumstances of her life are right. And these circumstances usually include having a caring, understanding partner who is knowledgeable about sex, and who uses that knowledge to help her relax and to reach orgasm. Source

I would like to draw your attention to the article above at this web site. If you do not like that one, then by the Gods, just Google Women and Orgasms and you will find a whole slew of places to explore.  The one I have listed is my favorite, though, and seems to have a little of everything.

Why bother?

Because in order for women to understand their sexuality, they need to understand how their bodies work. And men…if you are worthy lovers and wish the ultimate sexual experience…you will explore these sites and learn as well.


Because by understanding our bodies we can achieve all the blessings that come with them. And I am not sure if men realize this….but when your woman doesn’t have to fake it…the experience is ten times better than the usual automatic climaxes your body just seems to shoot off.

Health Benefits?

I believe that possibly some of  the reasons women are suffering from obesity– caused by stress and poor metabolism, high blood pressure, tension (migraines), insomnia, depression, and who KNOWS what else, is because we ladies have stopped getting our GROOVE on. Maybe why we crave junk food or binge eat is because we are not having our needed dose of orgasms. We can’t sleep even though we pop pills because why? Because our body lacks the natural tranquilizer it produces during climax.  Am I nuts?

No, I am a woman discovering and figuring these things out same as you. But thanks to those doing research and studies…other people got a clue long before I did.

And no, this isn’t going to be a one problem solved kind of thing especially if your just not in the ‘mood’. This again falls in line with the article I posted earlier titled Women Issues:Asserting Your Power .

While there are other issues in a woman’s life to get right….SEX should not be forgotten. If you can not get comfortable with your lover to climax with him or her (just yet)…then go please yourself. There are tons of toys and aids you can order secretly online to be delivered to your house without ANYONE knowing.

We are leaving the darkness of an Age where women drudge through this world never knowing a true orgasm and suffering the illnesses—mentally and physically from that. Today, we leave behind the old mentality of sluts, whores, or scarlet women and the many other horrid names we label our sisters with—> just because they have attempted to know their own sexuality.

Sites like the one I listed above will explain all sorts of  ways and facts.

So I say ladies, you are no longer suppressed. Go on out there and have your lovers…and bed them well…and teach them how to bed YOU well.

But here’s hoping you find a man that wanted to learn on his own….and off he went to educate himself. *winks*

C.H. Scarlett