Tag Archives: Contemporary

Holiday Memories.

‘Tis the season… for thinking back to those exciting days of yesteryear.  It’s funny as I get older (heading inevitably towards both my dotage and grumpy-old-man syndrome) I think back upon childhood.  Christmas, with all its frantic and heart-pounding anticipation is often brought to mind.

I am wierd, no seriously.  I never get excited about something like Christmas until the day before and then it’s multiplied by 1,000,000.  I would be the first one up waiting the “go” signal. 

 You see our Christmas tree was downstairs in the rec room, not upstairs.  We, the Newman children, were forbidden to go downstairs until our parents got up.  My father, the eternal jokester would have to have his coffee and cigarette before we could plunge into the ripping, tearing and shrieking of joy.   So like runners awaiting the starting gun, we were perched upon the top of the stairs with trembling nerves and quivering legs.  There was a lot to plan, for that mad dash.  Our steps lead down to the front door, curved around a foyer and went back down to the basement.  Then there was the narrow hallway that lead into the rec room.  You had to watch cutting the corner of the foyer lest you slam into the banister on the right or make your turn too wide and smack into the banister on the left.  Aside from all that you were in slippers, an aptly named set of footwear, which made rounding a bend as dangerous as telling Donald Trump his hairstyle sucks.  Once onto the carpeted second set of stairs the basement floor had a door on the left (to the garage) and then two more in the hall facing one another (the laundry room and the closet).  Doorknobs are useful things.  But slamming into one with an unprotected elbow or hip wasn’t pleasant.  Plus it would put you in last place in the Christmas Race.  Also you had to prepare for the basement floor’s icy linoleum, treacherous and slick.  Once into the rec room the frenzy could take place in earnest.

But back to my Father.  Smirking and sitting in the kitchen, puffing slowly on a cigarette and sipping daintily on his coffee we would glance over our shoulders at him in desperate anticipation.  He would chuckle and tell us to be patient, he was almost done.  Then he’d go back to smirking, smoking and sipping.  I swear he could make those two things last all day!  They were the slowest, most leisurely cup of coffee and nicotine stick of the ENTIRE year.  Often I would accuse him of lighting a second one or refilling his mug—he didn’t it just FELT that way!  Then he’d crush out the cigarette, down the last dregs of his java and say….”Go ahead”.  The race was on!

My poor sister, the youngest and smallest of us would be buffeted by her two older brothers as we leaped into action!  Being the eldest (and for the longest time the biggest) I would easily shove past my brother and take the lead.  It didn’t last since he was faster than me and due to my clumsiness I always managed to bash my arms, hips and elbows into the banister and doorknobs slowing my frantic progress.  In the end somebody always fell on the foyer or the basement floor but all pain and agony was forgotten when we burst into the rec room to find Santa’s booty (presents that is, get your mind out of the gutter this is a Christmas or if you like Yule story). 

To this day when I see a staircase I wonder how to best dash down it and beat all comers to the ground floor…

Ciao!

Chris

Sparkling vampires?

Okay I’m going to go out on a limb here and discuss why in the wide, wide world of sports it means that Stephanie Meyer’s vampires “sparkle”?  I looked it up and found out that Bella is taken into a field in broad daylight and Edward “sparkles”.  So instead of him bursting into flames and igniting this mealy mouth heroine he sparkles?  Geez, what a convenient plot device to allow Bella and Edward to “walk amongst the daisies and frolic”.  Pardon me my gorge is rising…

…okay much better now. 

Before I get 1,000,000 emails of hate-spewing people who want to defend this I’d like to start by saying this.  I do not begrudge Ms. (or Mrs.) Meyers her millions of fans or commercial success.  Good for her.  However I really do miss the good old days when vampires were bad, women were terrified and heroes climbed out of the woodwork to defend them.  Now it’s all mixed up. 

Let’s take a moment and ponder this much, what is the ecology of a vampire?  Everything on this planet (as Wiccans all know) has a purpose.  Lycanthropy is a curse, zombies are the result of bad science, and Nancy Pelosi is obviously allergic to Botox.    Let us use the one animal that consists entirely on a blood diet…desmondus rotundus or the common vampire bat.

Average weight: 30-40 oz/ blood intake half their body weight ever 3-4 days/nocturnal hunters/bad eyesight/excellent hearing/thermal sensors in their nose/interior of their mouths lined with teeth (to shave away fur)/must urinate half their intake before being able to fly (it’s funny how nobody talks about how much vampires must have to go to the bathroom with that liquid diet and all). 

Their job?  Thin the herds of over populated wildlife. Side effects–very susceptible to blood borne pathogens and diseases.

Let’s do the math.

I weight 165 pounds.   This means I’d have to take in almost 82.5 pounds of blood during 3-4 days and the average human has over a gallon.  That means I’d have to kill (drain fully) almost 7 people in a feeding frenzy.  Although an average of nearly 1 million people go unexplainably missing every year it boils down to a vampire problem of there  being about 125,000 vampires in the United States (minus the occasional serial killer body count or extremely obese bloodsuckers okay).  Can you imagine Ralphie May or as a vampire?  I shudder to think of the carnage.  Either way it’s food for thought, isn’t it? 

The problem is I can’t find anything in nature that “sparkles” in the daytime or that sweats something to coat themselves from sunlight.  Most nocturnal animals just sleep during the day–it’s easier than evolving some sort of diamond-dust skin.  Ooh!  I just had a thought!  Is this how come vampires are rich?  They sell off their flaked skin at the jewelers?

“Damn I’m molting again,” Edward says.

“Cool,” Bella replies, “now I can buy that Mercedes-Benz.”

That’s dialogue I’d like to see.   Oh and that reminds me, can you just imagine what a vampire’s breath must smell like?  Have you ever had bloodstained clothing?  Can you picture what your teeth would look like as a vampire?  I think a great marketing concept would be “Twilight Toothpaste”

Cut to a Victorian reading room with Edward sitting in a chair sparkling for the sunlight pouring in from a nearby window.  Turning to the camera he flashes his pearly white fangs and begins to speak.

“After a hard night trying to keep Bella out of trouble,” Edward says, “I find my breath less than fresh.  Thank goodness for Twilight Toothpaste with it’s minty fresh scent and grime and stain removing action.  And for those hard to reach places try Sparkling Vampire Dental Floss.”

He holds up a crimson and white colored tube of toothpaste and a small box of floss–the camera zooms in for a better look.  Then it pans back out where Bella is sitting across his lap with those half-opened eyes and lazy smile.

“So before you go out to find a vapish and morose girlfriend don’t forget to stop by the drugstore and buy some Twilight Toothpaste–you’ll find it next to the feminine hygeine aisle.  Remember Twilight Toothpaste–make your fangs sparkle!”

…let’s not even get into what kissing someone who drinks blood must taste like, and you thought your hubby or girl’s cigarette breath was bad to savor.

Okay we’ve had a little fun with this.  It’s all in good fun.  Let Bella be and Edward sparkle–I don’t care.  I just wonder if we’ll see Werewolf untangling shampoo, Creature from the Black Lagoon Swimsuits, or Zom-Be-Fresh deodorant?

Sparkle on!

Chris

Book Review: Crimson Dawn: Hallowed Echoes Volume One of the Dimenlien Chronicles by Myristica

 

 

Title: Crimson Dawn: Hallowed Echoes

Volume One of The Dimenlien Chronicles

Author: Myrstica

Author Site: http://www.left-of-heaven.net/myristica/

Buy Link: http://www.darkroastpress.com/echoes.php

Publisher: Dark Roast Press

Genre: Contemporary, Vampire, Paranormal, erotica

Length – # OF PAGES: 449

Other: M/F * M/F/M * M/M Multiple Partners

Card Rating: – 3

Review by: Kim

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Book Review: The Decision By C.R. Moss

Title: The Decision

Author: C.R. Moss

Author Site

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Publisher: eXtasy Books

Genre: Series, Romance, Fantasy, Paranormal, Contemporary, Time Travel, Gay/Lesbian, Adventure, Vampire

Length 109 pages

Other: m/f, f/f, m/m, m/f/m sex scenes

Card Rating: 4 Tarots & Reviewers Top Pick

Review by: Jes L’Heureux

About The Book:

The Decision is an erotic, paranormal journey of a woman betrayed based off of the Wheel of Fortune Tarot card for eXtasy Books Tarot Series.

What would you do if fate gave you a second chance?

After the ultimate betrayal Jill Burke embarks on a very personal, erotic, paranormal journey.  At the mercy of Lady Tyche and Herr Sehend, the spinners of the wheel of fate, Jill is sent on a quest. During her mission, Jill encounters a myriad of experiences ranging from voyeurism to same sex love to vampires.  The choices she makes on her travels will determine if the end result of her adventure is good or bad.  Either way, Jill is in for the time of her life.

~ Warning: Story contains m/f, f/f, m/m & m/f/m sex scenes ~

{Taken directly from the author’s website: http://home.earthlink.net/~cr_moss/id19.html}

The Review:

Jill Burke, wife and mother, thought she had done well with her life, had kept a nice home for her husband and took care of their daughter. Then she finds out her daughter hates her and her husband has been cheating with his secretary for the past three years. Her life is falling apart around her when she falls into a hole and watches her past fly before her eyes. Jill finds herself standing in front of the Wheel of Fortune, and is offered a quest which will help decide where she will go, if she gives the correct answer she will be rewarded, wrong and she will be punished then and there. Nothing else is really said other then she will know when she gets there what she is to do.

The Decision is a beautifully written story by C.R. Moss, with intuitive scenes that shifted and changed with the character. Right away I fell in love with her main character, Jill Burke, and could feel her disillusion with her life and felt her raw need and emotions throughout her questing. I thought the story was interesting as who hasn’t wished that they could turn back the clock and change certain events. This story is the “what if” game played true as Moss takes her readers on a journey of sexual self-discovery and personal triumph. Truly, as Burke goes through her journey she finds her fortune is best when it isn’t controlled by anyone but herself, and it is only when she takes control of the helm that she is satisfied and loses her regrets and fears. I enjoyed this story and would definitely recommend it to anyone who is interested in paranormal erotica.

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Book Review: Absinthe Eyes & Other Lies By GR Bretz

 

Title: Absinthe Eyes & Other Lies

Author: GR Bretz

Publisher: Noble Romance Publishing

Genre: Contemporary

Length – # OF PAGES: 96

Other: M/F

Card Rating – 4 Tarots

Reviewed by: Strega

 

 

Review:

When a legend lingers for centuries there’s usually a bit of truth to it. For two hundred years people have whispered about the green fairy that lives in bottles of absinthe. Drink up. If you’re lucky you may see her. If you’re very lucky you may catch her. No one should ever be that lucky. Ask David, Vincent and Richard; three men with a few things in common. They have found inspiration. They have met the Muse. They have taken Dahlia to their hearts and to their beds. It cost them their sanity and their lives. If Stephen isn’t very careful he’s going to be number four.

David is a writer, old and drunk, he hasn’t written anything in years. Vincent is an artist in need of inspiration to paint a masterpiece. Stephen is heir to an absinthe distillery. The thing they all have in common, besides drinking absinthe, is Dahlia. She is their muse, their reason for being, their obsession…think you know the rest of this story? Think again!

GR Bretz has written an astounding tale of dark, erotic love, lust and longing that will keep you as mesmerized as David, Vincent & Richard are with Dahlia. I was totally enthralled with this story and literally couldn’t put it down until I had finished reading every word. I have never drank Absinthe, but after reading this story I was left with a desire to have its taste on my tongue, although I have the good sense to realize that reality and fantasy rarely blend well…or do they?

Don’t miss this extraordinary tale from a master storyteller! GR Bretz is a name you’ll want to remember and Absinthe Eyes & Other Lies is a book you won’t soon forget.

Book Review: Two for Hire by Rie McGaha

 

Title: Two for Hire

Author: Rie McGaha

Author Site

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Publisher: Noble Romance Publishing, LLC

Genre: contemporary

Length – # OF PAGES: 53

Other: BDSM, M/F

Card Rating: – 4 Tarots

Review by: Gabrielle

About The Book: Ian James lives the life of luxury. He has always thought that he would follow in his father’s footsteps and become a lawyer. One fateful day changes everything. He meets a wealthy widow and Ian learns that women will pay good money to be with him.

At a family luncheon Ian meets his sisters good friend Gillian Carmichael. He feels an instant attraction to Gillian and decides to see just where it may lead. Will they be the perfect match his sister hopes or will other things get in the way?

 

The Review: This story was a quick and interesting read that had me from the first page. It showed both the business and the personal side of Ian and his job as an escort. Showing the reasons why he did what he did. Ian was a likable guy and cared deeply for his family. Gillian is a strong woman who enjoys herself and knows what she wants. I would have liked to see more about her and her life.

The relationship that grows between Ian and Gillian is great reading and has the reader hoping that the two end up together.

Rie McGaha brings the reader into a wonderful world and keeps them entertained till the very end. Making each and every character endearing to the reader. Definitely a hot read Two For Hire is not a book to be missed.

 

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Book Review: Best Unspoken by Bryl R. Tyne

Title: Best Unspoken

Author: Bryl R. Tyne

Author Site: http://bryltyne.com

Buy Link: http://www.nobleromance.com/BrowseListing.aspx?author=59

Publisher: Noble Romance Publishing

Genre: Contemporary/GLBT

Length – # OF PAGES: 18

Other: M/M

Card Rating: – 4 Tarots

Review by: Strega

About The Book: Twenty-five year old social butterfly, Levi Finley couldn’t be more mismatched for his middle-aged, introverted counterpart, biomedical tech, Rob Langston. What happens when two so utterly opposite men come together? Besides the hottest sex in Levi’s young life? Throw in one opinionated mother, misunderstanding friends, and one hell of a birthday party at the wildest, gentleman’s gentlemen club in town, and friction, a notch above wild, is bound to ensue. Will Levi allow doubts to destroy their relationship? Not if Rob has any say in the matter. But that might not be as easy as it sounds, considering Rob’s preferred communication is always best unspoken.

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The Review:

First off, I have to say that I am a fan of Bryl Tyne’s writing. This author has never disappointed me but when I read Best Unspoken, I wasn’t quite sure I liked what I was reading. Levi is young, has lots of friends, is out going and friendly. His lover, Rob, is middle aged, quiet, almost to the point of being a “well, he was a nice, quiet neighbor, we never would’ve thought he had bodies in the basement” type of character. I truly began to fear for Levi’s well being and had a few flashbacks of my own! The reader can misconstrue the tension between Levi and Rob, just as it is by Levi’s friends, but when the two men are alone, the tension between them is something altogether different.

Best Unspoken is a quick read, only 18 pages, but Bryl R. Tyne has packed this story with enough raw emotion, sex, and heartfelt meaning to keep the reader thinking about Levi and Rob long after the story ends.

 

 

 

Continue reading Book Review: Best Unspoken by Bryl R. Tyne