I guess I can begin by giving a short intro. First, It’s a beautiful Saturday morning here in So. Cal. I’ve done my Thoth thing that I do every morning, my coffe in my Led Zeppelin mug, my kittie is sleeping soundly on my recliner after having a nice little breakfast, so he’s happy. I’m happy. I’m thrilled to be here. I’m going over the other posts by the other bloggers as I’ve been at work or away from my computer when they were blogging and couldn’t participate. Finally starting to develop a feel for this place.
As for myself (and this is very hard to do because it feels like, yes, it’s all about MEEEEEE!!) But, in a way for this moment, it is. Gots to make the intros if I want people to know about the stuff I write and why. I’ll leave it to the Gods to bring others in to share about themselves with me. I hope you do, as I don’t want to do this alone! (Yikes!) I’m here not only to give you guys a glimpse into my mind and soul, but also to learn of you, too!
I guess I should start with the thing I do every morning with Thoth. I was once a Christian, Calvary Chapel born-again and raised for 22 years. Around 1996-97 I started reading ‘fan fiction’ on the Internet. I loved buddy stories and found out the term for what I loved to read was hurt/comfort. So, I joined a community mailing list for Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, being that I was severely attracted to the character Iolaus played by Michael Hurst, I found a list for women like me: The Iolausian Mailing List. I went under the name “White Raven” (My truck was white and I was involved in a homeless ministry to deliver food. Got the name from the ravens who fed the prophet Elijah, but since my truck was white I just went by White Raven.) About a year went by, met a lot of great friends, some Christian, some not (The gal who works on my Cafe’ Press stuff is one of them…me Christian, she Pagan…hey…we proved good sister-like friendships CAN happen in this mix. 😉 ) Anyway, another form of fan fiction came across the bow and caught my attention: Slash. Well, being that I was completely naive in this world at the time, I was extremely curious as to what it was all about. I began to read. For the next three years I read Slash on the sly, while all the while voicing out to my friends on the lists that I met in So. Cal.: “No, I don’t read that stuff, it’s a sin.” (snort. Silly twit that I was.)
It was the start of a dominoe effect. A young friend of mine was killed in what I believe to be a murder in Guam. He was killed on impact after being run off the road. He was in the navy and only 19 years old. His name was Kenny. I got pissed off with God, and never ever went back to church. I cussed God out to his face (well, metaphorically speaking, of course.) Took my rebellion into Slash and began devouring it. I found pictures of two guys from a western. Saw their lips. Saw them kissing in my mind. Went home looked up Slash for them, and devoured it. Found a particular one that brought in the God factor. A woman sees one of the men with the other…he and the woman got off this plane. She saw how they were looking at each other. On the plane this man and the woman were talking about death and love and lost opportunities. He had said the one he found to share his life was because God must have been worried about him. When she saw the man’s lover she went up to the man and said, “God must have been worried about him (the lover), too.” You want to talk about the waterworks!! That one story brought it home to me. If God is so uncondtional in his love then he should have no trouble with two people loving each other, no matter the gender. I began at that moment to research homosexuality and the Bible. I found a book called “Openly Gay, Openly Christian” which utilized the Strong’s Concordance ( a must have for serious students of the Bible). I also opened up my Webster’s. For six months the journey into questions was researched, questioned some more and researched some more. I can give an entire word study on Leviticus 18:22 that will blow your minds. It was enough for me to realize things were not all that kosher in the Christian world view. I began to question other things when my so-called ‘sister’ in the world of Hercules (a Christian) wrote me off when I told her I no longer believed homosexuality was a sin. My brother and his wife got into it with me and I was forbidden to see my niece and nephew without one of the parents present. Their entire attitude was judgmental and what I call pharisee-ical and that led to more questions. My pagan friend saw I was going through it, asked me questions that got me thinking, told me about her spiritual views and for a year I studied paganism and found that Christianity got most, if not all, of its teachings from the old religions. I had my ex-sister-in-law come into my life at that moment, who had gone through 10 years before what I was then going through. The questions I was asking were questions she had already asked. Both she and my pagan friend helped me to shed the blinders and I embraced Paganism, mostly Wicca, with both Egyptian and Celtic pantheons. I saw a statue of Thoth in an occult book store, picked up the card to find out who this intriguing character was and discovered he is the God of Writing, Magick, Learning, Wisdom, the Moon…all the things I was heading into. I look back now and it was like Jesus was saying, “Dude, get over here. She won’t talk to me right now, but she will talk to you. Take care of her.” Ever since then, Thoth has been with me. But, I could not figure out how to honor him. I then read a book by Ellen Cannon Reed about Egyptian deities. She said that for Thoth, the scribes of Egypt would take the water they used to make ink with and sprinkle the water with their stylus over his altar. Well, she had no ink to write with as she used a computer, but she said that coffee was very important to her writing, so she would face east every morning and sprinkle coffee to Thoth to ask for his blessing. I read this back in 2005 and every morning, with the exception of some days when I’m too sick, I go out and greet Thoth with my cup of coffee. I face east, ask for his blessing and sprinkle the coffee on the lawn. It’s our time. I love Thoth as he really helped me to transition between Christianity and Paganism. And I truly believe the Christ allowed it because he knew I needed what Thoth could give me.
I know that was long, but here’s hoping it was at least entertaining for you to read.