All posts by erinsinclairwriter

I'm a writer and artist. I'm currently published in romance, but my creative direction will change without notice, as I will write in whatever genre the muse pulls me. However, I love sci-fi, fantasy, magical realism, literary fiction, young adult, and writing/illustrating children's books.

Dear Spirit Grows Up and Becomes Dear Goddess-New Column from Author, Erin Sinclair

Well, now…I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m excited. I love new ventures, they carry so much potential. With that stated, Dear Spirit is changing and growing into something bigger and hopefully, better.
My new column will be called Dear Goddess and it will involve a subject near and dear to my heart–Women’s Studies. Now I’d like to preface this by saying this will NOT be about male-bashing, She-Ra ManHater reporting. It will involve research, editorializing, commentary, story telling, whatever strikes my fancy. I’ll still be available for readings if you’d like. You know the routine by now, send me your question to, the initials of the name you currently vibrate under, and your city and state. I’ll be happy to do a reading for you and post your answer as soon as reasonably possible. I’ll respond to your email with the date that I will post your answer. Please feel free to comment where you think I got it right and/or wrong once your reading is posted. The same disclaimer from Dear Spirit applies, but for those who aren’t aware, tarot readings (something I take very seriously) performed at The Pagan and the Pen are for ENTERTAINMENT ONLY. If you have an issue of a serious nature, while I’m happy to provide suggestions and guidance to your query, I’m not a therapist, attorney, priest/minister (although Priestess sounds nice, LOL). I will not give advice on something for which I am not fully licensed and trained. I will give you my psychic impressions, medium “speak”, and some good ole fashioned common sense though as Spirit’s advice comes from many sources. Note that there is no specific day to expect this column, it will work around my personal schedule as I now have a full plate of work, school, and author deadlines, but I think when I do post you’ll enjoy the articles. Without further adieu, welcome to Dear Goddess!

I thought long and hard about this first article. I researched some pretty fascinating information on the general idea of goddess as opposed to details per se. Casey, our former site host, posted an interesting column on goddess days, their origination, their meaning and so forth, therefore I felt it would be copying a terrific original as opposed to the reader hearing my voice, if I did. 

I was looking through some older writings of mine, posted to another blog site  a couple of years ago and I found a blog that sums up some of the challenges being female.  Every human being on this planet has a spark of the Divine within them. It’s sometimes hard to recognize that however, when your body chooses to remind you that flame is encased in a miraculous, but very physical form and all of its associated “operations” as it were. It is entitled “Divine Femininity or How to Survive the Hormone Rollercoaster Without Taking Over the World”.  Enjoy.

Day 1 – Messy, cramping, aches, bloating. Fat pants are in, comfortable cuddly stretchy fleece or knit, no buttons, no zippers, no anything that could possibly make me feel like grabbing a sharp blade and cutting them away from my stomach. I am tender to the touch but desperately want to be held. If anyone messes with me, (most especially and inexplicably anything male), if they make one comment, one nasty snide remark (don’t even think about couching it in humor, I’ll see right through it), nefarious and wicked things will occur to any exposed body part in their sleep— in marker—in shiny, black, permanent marker for all the world to see. Plans to take over the world are in motion. I will have my way, I will seize power and it will be mine, all mine! Muahahah. If only I wasn’t so tired. Hmm, maybe a nap first then world dominance.

Day 5 – All done. The sun is shining, the birds are singing! Snow White has nothin’ on me. I have energy, I can jump, I can leap, I can share my joy and good thoughts with the world. Can’t wait to put on my jeans. Very nice, very sexy. Look at that butt, my butt looks awesome. Think I’ll hit a club tonight and go dancing, do some flirting. Who wants to rule the world, when I feel so free!

Day 10 – Wow, what was that achy little cramp I felt? Oh yes, ovulation. Better stock up on protection just in case. Now is not the time for accidents or carelessness. Wow, my man is cute. I’m in the mood, I wonder if he is. Oh wait, football’s on tonight. Oh, I don’t think so, no one stops the Goddess from having her way. I’ll be relentless, a temptress, a seductress, he’ll be unable to resist me.

Later that evening…

Holy Cow, we fogged the windows! I was awesome, I was an animal. He loves me, he really loves me! He’s twitching, hardly able to walk, like Jeff Foxworthy said, if he’s walkin’ like a newborn colt afterwards, you’ve done your job. Yep, giddy-up cowboy. Time for round two.

Day 15 – That was the sweetest Hallmark commercial I’ve ever seen. Sniffle, just beautiful. Man, I have the munchies, do we have any chips? I’m craving something, what do I want, oh I know, I think there’s a Milky Way chocolate bar in my desk. Ahh, perfect but not enough. I’m going to the store, do you need anything? Wow, that driver was a jerk, oh well, when you live in a city of one million bad drivers what can you do? If you get mad at all the bad ones you’ll be mad all day long. If I were Empress of the world, I would change the driving laws. Empress hmm, I like that title. I would tag all bad driver’s vehicles with signs on little rubber suction cups that state “Dork”. More than ten on your vehicle, a cop can pull you over and give you a ticket for being an idiot.

Day 20 – Why is my back hurting? God my ankles look a little swollen today. I need salt, I want sugar. No go to the gym you’ll feel better. Oh great, my back still hurts. Now I’m sweaty, stinky AND achy. Is there ever any good news to report? This world is so screwed up. If I ruled the world, I could fix all the ills immediately. I’d appoint Sweeney Todd as my Secretary of State, he’d be an awesome negotiator. Feed the starving children, if you don’t perhaps a nice shave and haircut could persuade you…oops, next please.

Day 25 – Everything is making me cry. Damn it, I’ve had to restore my mascara three times. I never knew how touching the movie The Santa Clause was. My back aches, my stomach hurts, where are my fat pants? I’m so tired I think I’ll lay down for a nap. NOBODY BOTHER ME. Oh, what a dream. I dreamt I was Alexander the Great and just conquered Asia, figures, why couldn’t I have been Alexadra the Great? If I ruled the world all corporate corruption would end. Say, there are my plans for world dominance, must tweak them. It’s all about the timing.

 Day 28 – I’m cramping so bad, where’s the heating pad? Midol, Pamprin throw them on a Lazy Susan, round and round she goes wherever she stops, Mama finds relief. I’m eating them like Sweet Tarts. Oh sweet release, that should stop the pain for a couple of hours.

Day 1 (again) – Messy, cramping, aches, bloating. Fat pants are in, comfortable cuddly stretchy fleece or knit, no buttons, no zippers, no anything that could possibly make me feel like grabbing a sharp blade and cutting them away from my stomach. I am tender to the touch but desperately want to be held. If anyone messes with me, (most especially and inexplicably anything male), if they make one comment, one nasty snide remark (don’t even think about couching it in humor, I’ll see right through it), nefarious and wicked things will occur to any exposed body part in their sleep— in marker—in shiny black permanent marker, for all the world to see. Plans to take over the world are in motion. I will have my way, I will seize power and it will be mine, all mine! Muahahah. If only I wasn’t so tired. Hmm, maybe a nap first then world dominance.

Oh, the joys of Divine Femininity, the excitement of the hormone rollercoaster! When we step into the Virgin stage we’re untried, untested, slowly but surely learning and understanding our personal power. Whatever would we do without the thrill-a-minute-ride of womanhood? We surge into the Mother, abundant, creative, capable of nurturing and producing life in all its grand and glorious form, able to handle multiple tasks and leap tall buildings in a single bound. I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never ever let you forget you’re a man, ‘cause I’m a WOMAN, W-O-M-A-N, but I digress. No sooner has the rollercoaster returned, then we’re forced back into our seats, bars down for ONE MORE TRIP AROUND THE BEND. Woohoo. If that wasn’t enough, just as we figure out how to get off, the Perimenopause Train whisks us away for a few years finally landing us in Menopauseville where we charge bravely, passionately (usually) into the Crone persona. We are dark, we are mysterious, and we are STRENGTH incarnate on the physical plane. Wise, full of ancient secrets, no one can usurp our personal power any longer. Yep, I’m gonna say it. We are big bad bold beautiful women, hear us roar! 

Until next time, Goddesses and Gods!

Erin Sinclair, “For love that’s out of this world!”,

Dear Spirit, Friday, July 2, 2010-New job, same company; Mixtures of Suits in a Reading

“I’ve been working for a good company for a few months now, they offer decent benefits, including reimbursing you for any college or vocational school you go for.  There is much potential for growth. I’m interested in applying for a new position within the company, which I believe will be a good move in the right direction for me. What do the cards say? Thank you for your advice.” CWB, St. Louis, MO

In this recovering economy, it is always a positive message to hear that someone actually has opportunity open to them for something new, something more that allows for growth and possibility. As I shuffled the cards, the thought came to me that the company you are with has much potential, but I feel that isn’t as important in this instance as you developing your potential. My reaction is it is time to work smarter, not harder, and I think you are realizing this, too. With that stated, the cards pulled as follows: ‘9’ card-Illusion (The Moon), reversed; Six of Pentacles, reversed; Ace of Cauldrons, upright; and King of Pentacles, upright.

The reversed Illusion card tells me much. There is a lot going on inside you. You are feeling a rise in consciousness, a spiritual awakening. Karma is calling to you, it is time to sow a new path, one that no longer limits life for you. You’ve been receiving a lot of messages in your dreams, as the Illusion card is all about the subconscious and psychic abilities beginning to surface. My feeling is your intuition is on target and you should see where it leads you to as you have been dealing with emotional highs and lows trying to figure out who you are becoming. This is definitely a time when you need to follow your “gut”, not your reason because something is calling to you to open up yourself to the unlimited possibilities of the universe in your pursuit of a new and improved you. The reversed Six of Pentacles tells me the obvious urge, the surface urge for your desire for change is that money is tight right now and you are looking for more stability in terms of your finances, hence an allegedly better paying position. That’s fine, but the energy surrounding you is insisting there is more for you on many other levels ON TOP OF better money and that is the “voice” you should be listening to in the long run. If your company offers, as a benefit to you, tuition reimbursement, you should definitely pursue whatever training and/or education you can in order to better yourself on all levels. The upright Ace of Cauldrons tells me new beginnings are definitely on the horizon, odds are you will get the job you’re interested in because all aces are about new beginnings, and the number ‘1’ is the number of creative power and potential. The trick is to see what you can do with all this power coming at you and how you can utilize it to make the most of your possibilities. The King of Pentacles, upright, tells me you are going to work with an individual who will more than likely be in a supervisory position over you who has a lot of good old fashioned common sense. This individual has made a lot of money through hard work and patience, realizing if one plays the “game” right, money will flow. The upright King of Pentacles is telling me if you continue to apply yourself, you can reach great heights in your quest for success, but have patience, be methodical and plan well for better and much longer lasting results.  Good fortune to you, CWB!


When you perform a tarot reading, don’t limit your interpretations to the face value depicted on the cards. One of the first things I do when pulling a spread is gather them in, psychically, mentally, emotionally and physically. Let’s say your client asks a question about his love life. Just because he asks about that area, does not mean all cups will appear. As a general rule, the tarot always tells the querent what they need to hear, not what they desire to hear. In fact, if too many of one suit appears in a spread, it is generally indicative of imbalance. Too many cups, for this particular querent, may indicate entirely too much emotional energy, while a predominance of Pentacles could mean the querent is too materialistic with regard to his approach to the relationship.

CUPS: Cups are linked to matters of the heart. They relate how we FEEL about people, situations, and things. The Cups are also connected to the imagination, psychic activity, dreams , visualization, inner processes, relationships, receptivity and reflection, fantasy and fertility. Cups symbolize the heart, the emotional center and the womb which nurtures and creates new growth. The element water represents feelings. A full cup that runneth over can represent emotional abundance while a closed or upside down cup, can be indicative of a lack of emotional expression or creativity. When Cups appear in a spread they are telling the reader how the querent feels emotionally about their question. When Cups appear with Wands it is telling us how we feel emotionally about our relationships, ideals, goals, aspirations and dreams. It can also reveal how you apply energy (Wands) toward manifesting or creating your dreams. When Cups appear with Swords we are now applying codes of morality and ethics, the right and wrong of our approach to our relationships, ideals, goals, aspirations or dreams. When Cups appear with Pentacles, this appearance can indicate how we feel about the physical aspects of our lives (for example, career, property, finances, etc.)

WANDS: Ideals aspirations, dreams, energy, growth, enterprise, animation, glory, self-growth, inspiration, spirit, initiation, enthusiasm, desire, passion, perception, action, movement, optimism, sexuality…the Wands respond to questions having to do with job, school, career or a creative venture or project. Wands are the life-force energy to make you want to work to obtain your desires. If Wands appear with Cups it is how you apply your ideals and energy toward your emotional state of mind and how you feel emotionally about your methods used to manifest your dreams. If Wands appear with Swords it means that you are now questioning how moral your ideals, aspirations and dreams are, but as much as you want to do something, when Swords come into the picture, the morality about your wish or desire comes into play. You really are weighing the pros and cons of your approach to achieving your dreams. If Wands appear with Pentacles it is HOW you apply your ideals, dreams and aspirations in ways that actually physically create your destiny. When these two suits combine, they deal with the physical manifestation of your goals.

SWORDS: this suit is all about morality, ethics, the right and/or wrong. The Swords are associated with those areas of life which must be taken very seriously such as trouble, strife, courage, authority, health, laws and so forth. Swords will always indicate a mental level of consciousness. Any time that you pull a Sword, it will indicate the quality of mind that is present in your thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs at that time. If Swords appears with Cups, questions arise about the morality of your question, and concerns your morals and ethics in relationship to your emotional state of being regarding your question. For example, if you ask about the success of your adulterous love affair, the Sword is a serious indicator of the internal battle between your idea of right and wrong about the issue. If Swords appear with Wands you are now applying your morals to your actions used to create your ideal situation, aspirations and dreams. If Swords appear with Pentacles, there are questions concerning the moral issues resulting from the physical manifestations of the pursuit of your dreams, i.e., absolute power corrupts absolutely, if you become greedy in your success, that imbalance could lead to a painful loss of that you have worked so hard to acquire.

PENTACLES: this suit is all about physical things and manifestation on the material plane. The Pentacles are the results of what we do with our lives in order to manifest physicality and is associated with money, goods, services, work, our status in relationship to property and possessions. When the Pentacles and Cups appear in a reading, this combination deals with how we feel emotionally about the physical things in our life. When Pentacles and Wands show, it is what we do with our creative energy (Wands) which will decide the quality of Pentacles produced. We can have positive achievements or negative, we can produce loss or abundance. When Pentacles and Swords appear, it means that it is time to deal with the moral and ethical issues of our physical acquisitions we gain throughout our life.

When I read a spread, I allow the energy exchange between myself and the querent, the marvelous imagery of a tarot deck, the numerological, astrological, psychological aspects of the cards to guide me in assisting a querent. I respect the tarot for what it is, a powerful tool that can provide the answer one seeks, provided the reading is approached with respect and an open mind.

Until next month, everyone, enjoy your Independence Day in a way most suited to you and yours. Above all be safe and have fun!


Erin Sinclair, “For love that’s out of this world!” (

Dear Spirit, June 4, 2010, New relationship on the Horizon, All About the Suits of the Tarot

 Welcome to another Dear Spirit folks!  Due to internet issues, I couldn’t finish my Dear Spirit column and post it in time and I do apologize profusely.  Here it is in all its (late) glory!  Today a young woman asks for a reading regarding a young man she’s just started dating, BUT, as usual spirit tells you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. 😀  Also, a discourse on the suits of the tarot and what they mean.

“Hi, I’m a 26 year old woman who lives in the midwest.  I’ve just started dating a co-worker and we seem to be getting along well.  Would you provide a reading on the energies around us?  Also, I should add I just recently ended a relationship with a man that was going no where.  Once I left he wanted me back and promised me the sun, moon and stars only after I left.  I don’t get it, what do the cards have to say?  Thank you, AK, Owasso, OK

AK, when I read your e-mail my first thought was there was more to this matter than the questions presented at hand.  There is a “weight” to your email, a worry that has more to do with you and how you are doing than the relationships you’ve asked about.  Therefore, when I pulled the cards, I wasn’t surprised to find you pulled the Knight of Cauldrons, reversed; the Two of Swords, reversed; and the Five of Pentacles, upright.

In reference to your question with regard to your co-worker you are dating–with the reversed Knight of Cups, bear in mind that all Cups represent possible addictions.  He’s still in his party animal stage and you may want to pay attention to any signs that indicate he does so way too much.  The Knight of Cups in this reading represents a young man who is in disguise.  He’s not being honest with you in some fashion, you don’t have the whole story.  I have a strong feeling that something is wrong and you’re not seeing it at this time.  My comment to this is, it takes time to get to know someone before you can judge a potential future with them.  I say have fun, but be very aware that there’s more to this person than you realize and not all of it good (which is appropos for most people).  Another facet to the Knight of Cups reversed is there is competition or a rival for love or he is using friendship for sexual gain.  The competition may be coming from your ex, as in perhaps the ex is gearing up to “fight” for you and try to regain your heart and attention, or from a significant other with the young man, either way keep your wits about you, your emotions in check until you find out the truth of the matter and realize what you really do and do not want in your life.  If the relationship has already hit the “sexual step” bear in mind that you are both consenting adults and what you do behind closed doors is your business, however, if at any time you’re feeling used as a physical pit stop, once again it’s time to explore where you are at and what you want out of this person, or for your life with regard to the relationship.  As for your ex, I think we tend to realize what we have once it’s gone, but my question has always been, why did it take my leaving for you to realize it?  My attitude has always been, telling me what I want to hear AFTER the fact is like locking the barn door after the horse escapes.  I needed to hear those wonderful things DURING the relationship otherwise the person saying it isn’t speaking TRUTH.  What they really want is for the status quo not to change as they were perfectly comfortable in the relationship at my expense.  THAT IS JUST ME, HOWEVER. 😀  You have obviously decided the former relationship isn’t worth keeping.  The ex will get it sooner or later and move on.

The Two of Swords, reversed, tells me you made the right decision in leaving your ex and have achieved peace of mind after you have made a choice.  The consequence is harmony.  An intriguing aspect to the reversed Two of Swords is be aware of people you deal with, some will not be honest with you, be impartial in your thinking, mind matters more than heart at this moment.  A bell chimed in my mind when this card popped up because it advises me that neither the current young man you are dating nor your ex are being honest with you and if it is worth your time, get to the bottom of what is “off” about the current “beau” and know you made the correct decision about the former.

Now, the Five of Pentacles, upright, indicates you must combine your abilities (on all levels) with right timing.  You are experiencing financial setbacks.  This makes total sense if, say, you were living with your ex and sharing expenses, now you are taking care of all of your own expenses.  Therefore, watch your spending habits like a hawk, save rather than spend, budget yourself well until the money storm passes.  I’m also feeling you are experiencing a delay in receiving financial benefits (i.e., a raise, bonus, promotion).  My strong thoughts are you are concerned about many areas of your life at the moment, health, finances, work, relationships, material and emotional insecurity. You feel an acute lack of love and sexual fulfillment and are looking for that special someone to fill the void.  Just know filling that void with your positive growth and development is paramount to your continuous success, no one can do that for you except you.  Know that you’re working toward these goals and you will achieve it, but you have to patience and an open mind to the possibilities and potential help around you.  Also, you may not have issues where you are currently employed, but your present employment does not fulfill your needs.  Keep yourself aware of new avenues of potential.  If you have been with your employer for a long time, perhaps it’s time to have “The Talk” i.e., look Boss, here’s my worth, here’s what I bring to you, here’s what I need, etc.  Worst case scenario they tell you where you stand with them, you don’t receive what you are asking for and everything remains the same.  Best case scenario you learn information that may just aid you in taking the next step in your continued growth.

Good fortune to you, AK! 

Now, I thought I’d give you some information about the suits of the tarot,  their meanings and what they represent. 


 There are four suits in the minor arcana of the tarot. The Cups, Wands, Pentacles and Swords.

The Cups and Pentacles are the two female suits of the tarot.  They are womb symbols and embrace the female aspects of the feminine. These principles are characterized as negative (not good or bad, but meaning a different polarity—the yin inside us all), passive, dark (as in enigmatic, hidden, i.e., the subconscious), nurturing, mysterious, the moon, the emotional and non-rational qualities where intuition is relied upon more than logical thought.

The Wands and the Swords are the two masculine suits as they are representative of phallic symbols. They are the masculine principle characterized as positive (yang), active, energetic, assertive, fiery, the sun, creative and rational thought.


In order to better understand the different qualities of each, use your imagination to give each suit a personality. This does not mean that when Wands appear in a spread we are only talking about a man. It can be about a woman as well, depending on the other cards pulled in the spread. I find my sixth sense of the client and all of the cards pulled will confirm the sex of a person seen in the cards when it is necessary to indicate if an actual individual plays a hand in the energetic circumstances surrounding the querent.

CUPS-WATER-FEMALE: soft, flowing, gentle, emotional, loving, sensitive, imaginative, intuitive and laid back. This type of energy is reminiscent of a sheltered Southern Bell type of woman. She is nurturing toward her family, perhaps likes the arts (i.e., poetry, painting) is very intuitive, but she can also be moody and changeable like flowing water. As I am from the South, I remind the reader that Southern women are known as steel magnolias for a reason. They are the backbone of their clan and are a force to be reckoned with if crossed or protecting what matters to them. The image of flood waters creating great destruction comes to mind with this comment. Other cards in the spread are a general indicator of the individual you may see for the querent.

PENTACLES-EARTH-FEMALE: strong, dependable, down to earth, no-nonsense type of personality. She is also loving and nurturing, reminding one of a rugged country woman. In today’s society she could be likened to a practical working woman who cares for family, pays the bills, keeps her eye on expenses and bargains, monitors the checking account. She is a survivor in the truest sense of the word. The image of an earthquake moving a mountainside comes to mind when dealing with a female connected to Earth when she is pushed too far or determined to achieve a long sought after goal. She is a force to be respected. She can move heaven and earth to achieve her goals or rock your world, if pushed too far.

WANDS-FIRE-MALE: spirited, sporty, very sexual, adventurous man. He is very enterprising and is always looking for excitement, ways to promote himself at work, with new projects or just life in general. He is fun, dynamic, creative, imaginative, industrious, productive, inventive. Definitely a personality to take the initiative, can be scathing, heated, impetuous, sarcastic, will burn you with his wit and scathing tongue if his temper is inflamed.  I usually experience very dashing personalities when Wands appear in a spread.  It lets me know the querent has the ability to tap into this energy it’s only a matter of if they want to utilize such dynamic possibilities to find their answers.  In terms of nature, a warm campfire on a cool night is one aspect of these fiery personalities or a raging forest fire destroying everything in its wake, another facet.  These cards often represent activating energy, and the personalities that vibrate to this energy, firestarters.  They are definitely powerful in their intentions, it just depends are much these souls wish to bring their desires into fruition because their “heat” can definitely clear the way for them.

SWORDS-AIR-MALE: air pertains to the mind, which at times can be very analytical, cold and judging or piercing, decisive and knowledgeable. This suit represents an extremely intelligent individuals.   They can be lawyers, computer programmers or even military.  They are straightforward and direct, ambitious, calculating and sometimes aggressive, but can be one to defend, to demand justice, to clarify facts so that the best decision is made for all concerned. Because the Swords have to do with morals, it involves making judgments. This personality can be as powerful and demanding as the CEO of a corporation or as protective and defending as a police officer. These people can also batter you with their intellect.  They can be ruthless adversaries, patronize and belittle you with their minds in order to achieve what they believe will be the upper hand.  However, they are also the Einsteins of the world.  Their powerful thoughts can alter the course of life events.  They absolutely make an impact that will be far reaching in its consequences.

When reading the tarot all facets of the cards (from suits, to imagery, to numerology, astrology, etc.) must be taken into consideration.  Each of these symbols speaks to the subconscious mind as they are archetypal iamges of the first order.  When you see the imagery in a reading, take a moment to let it all sink in, then start to speak to your querent.  You will find your imagination, your psychic sense will resonate to the energy of the suits in the spread and it will open you to the necessary energetic connection to your client in order to provide the answers the querent needs to their issue at hand.

Next month, the mixture of suits in a reading and what each one potentially means in connection with others, then we’ll discuss the major arcana, numerology, and astrology all in connection with the tarot, so stay tuned!

Until next month, dear readers and if you’d like a free reading, I can be reached at or


Erin Sinclair (

Once Upon a Midnight Moon

Hi folks!  Since this is Free for All day, I decided to upload a story I created for Halloween last year for a blog I participate in.  I hope you enjoy it!

Maya Delgado Santiago rubbed bleary eyes and sat back from a laptop on her cluttered desk. A thesis paper hung in computer monitor purgatory waiting to become hard copy. She saved her latest entry to it and shut the system down.

A chill wind blew from the ocean, sauntered through the picture window of her bedroom. It was cold and damp forcing her to skim her hands up and down mocha colored skin prickled by the breeze. She stood to close the sliding glass pane, but the briny scent of the water and the distant crash of the surf made her hesitate. She loved that smell, the sounds of the sea. Within a moment, it lulled her active thoughts, led her to the surreal.

The dream started once again. Filled with the promise of distant shores, her mind wandered. In the solitude of her room, she stepped away from her comfortable world and into that other place, that other time. A vague recollection of a life beckoned to her. If she attempted deliberate recall, it would dart away and close a door in her memory. When she allowed it free rein, then she could gather herself, attempt to make sense of these events when they came upon her. If only she could remember enough to provide detail to her journal, something she started years ago when the dream first began. Writing helped her understand and work through a problem, but there was still no solution in sight for this, whatever it was happening to her.

A spirit sighed. Where are you?

Maya dared not move, lest she lose the fragile grip she had on her psyche when in this state. It was a voice she recognized but couldn’t place in her current memory. A frustrating thought of something left undone would follow. She prepared for it, determined a calm, rational approach could help her where former emotional reactions could not.

You are missed, Daughter of the Moon.

There was such sorrow in the lament. Her heart lurched in sympathetic ache, as if it was breaking. This reaction made no sense in the context of her life. She was happy and healthy, came from a good family. Her father and mother were wonderful, giving her everything, she could possibly want, loving her without reserve.

Accepted to the university of her choice, Maya set about pursuing her psychology degree. While she had no siblings, Maya had two best friends, both young women she grew up with, both of whom were attending the same college along with Maya. They shared a three bedroom apartment overlooking the coast and fairly close to campus. They couldn’t believe their luck when they found the place, even the rent was reasonable, the neighborhood decent. When shown the bedroom with the sea view, neither Deidre nor Nina desired the space because of its western location.

“It may be wonderful now,” Deidre stated when Maya admired it. “Just wait until summer, though.”

Nina agreed.

“I don’t care,” Maya replied. “It’s perfect for me.”

Maya could feel a desire building within her. She wanted to run, to feel the wind in her hair, the water chasing her as she teased the waves to follow her along the shore. It was so cold, but that did not dampen her desire. A thought stopped her, halted her reverie.

Why do I feel so alone?

A lilting soprano, comforting, sure and strong, responded. One does not run without the others.

Maya’s knees gave way and she dropped to the floor. Never before had she heard that voice. It filled her, surrounded her, lifted her to a place where moonlight expanded throughout her mind. She lay down as the dream moved forward, taking her to a new space, a new experience. She must remember. She pleaded with the unseen woman to allow her to remember.

A soft hand reached to her, the arm of which ascended into a lush cloak. Maya could not see a face hidden deep within the wrap’s hood. The voice held such promise of beauty, so much love. Silken fingers of alabaster stroked her brow.

Shh, my daughter, your time comes. For now, know that we miss you and welcome your return with open arms.

Maya could not contain the welling of energy racing through her body from the woman’s touch. The skin shined silver in the moonlight, but the power of the caress radiated the sun. Unable to bear it any longer, Maya fainted.


“Maya, Maya!” A gentle shaking of her right shoulder roused Maya to consciousness. Deidre was staring at her, still shaking her while Nina stood overhead in silence, a look of concern etched on her face.

“Are you okay? I heard you drop something. I knocked to see if you were all right. When you didn’t respond I got scared and opened your door. Good thing I did.” Deidre stated. She helped Maya stand while Nina grabbed an afghan from the bed to wrap around Maya’s shoulders.

Maya regained her senses. The other life, the whispers, the unidentified woman were gone. The dreams were always vivid but never before did they occur in her waking state. She thought for a moment. Had she been awake? Maya looked to her computer. It was off and folded closed. She noted her comforter, blanket and sheets turned down, but her pillow carried no impression from her head. An unnerving chill flowed through her. She held back tears threatening to spill. Was she losing her mind or was she just hallucinating because she’d been pushing herself so hard? Either way as a student pursuing a Masters in Psychology, seeing things and hearing voices did not bode well for a career in her chosen field of study.

Think, Maya, think! The last thing she remembered was the overwhelming desire to run. It was a frustrating position to be in. She knew she had, once again, a strange almost otherworldly experience, but couldn’t remember exactly what happened afterward. As usual, the bits of her dream formed a puzzle of sorts, but it was fragmentary, pieces were missing. Should she tell her two best friends about the voices she heard, the dreams she had since she was a girl? How could she do that though, when she couldn’t recall what was said to her or the fleeting images that escaped her? Her psychology trained mind decided against it. That’s all she needed was for her friends to think she was nuts. In this day and age, any sign of mental illness on a university campus was taken very seriously. Maya was in her senior year of her Bachelor’s degree and had applied to the Master’s program. She wasn’t about to ruin her chances for her long sought after goal. She’d figure out what was happening to her one way or another.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Maya concurred. “I’m sorry, I must have fallen asleep at my desk and fell off my chair. I’m such a nerd.” She laughed and both of her roommates chuckled.

Nina shook her blond head. “I know you’re working hard on your thesis and semester testing is coming up, but you still gotta sleep, My!”

My was the nickname Nina graced her with when they were nine years old. My, My Maya was a cheer the girls use to shout whenever Maya got into trouble. My, my Maya, lookin’ for a fight, My, My, Maya, always thinks she’s right, if you dare to mess with her, she will take you on, My, My Maya will chase you ’til the dawn. A goofy little chant that somehow made her reputation precede her. It caused the neighborhood bullies to leave her and anyone she befriended alone because Maya tended to be everyone’s knight in shining armor. If she wasn’t defending the downtrodden, she was the neighborhood counselor. Everyone, including some adults would come to her with their problems. Somehow Maya always seemed to have the answer.

Maya walked toward her bed and sat down on the comfortable mattress. The girls followed. “You’re right, I should, huh?”

Nina stepped to Maya’s window and closed the sliding glass panel. “It’s cold in here.” She stopped and stared out of the glass, squinting at something outside. “Halloween’s starting early.”

“What?” Deidre and Maya asked in unison.

“What other time of the year can you wear a cloak in California and get away with it?”

“What are you talking about?” Maya responded and joined Nina, Deidre following.

An irrational bout of fear ran through Maya as her gaze followed Nina’s line of sight. Maya’s bedroom window overlooked an open courtyard. At the end of well tended foliage and lawn surrounding the front of the apartment complex, a sidewalk extended to street parking then two vehicular travel lanes, one for each traffic direction. Across the street, more lawn reached to a boardwalk lining a sandy beach. The loose sand stretched several dozen yards to the west. Beyond that border, the Pacific Ocean lay in the distance. When the weather was sunny and clear, Maya loved to watch the shining waves spilling their contents onto the dun colored sands.

Maya saw a figure in a dark cloak, the hood drawn, the face hidden because a street lamp backlit the person, offering only a silhouette. It was obvious to her the individual was looking up at the three girls now crowded around the window. A memory butted its way into her consciousness. Daughter of the Moon, She said. Maya was struck with the strong urge to leave and go to Her. Her? There’s no way to tell from here. Yet, somehow, Maya knew it was true.

Nina turned to her roommates. “See what I mean?” They nodded in confirmation. When the girls looked back to the figure, it was gone.

Deidre shrugged. “Probably a homeless person who sleeps in one of the beach bathrooms at night. It’s really sad.” Maya smiled at Deidre’s sympathetic nature. That’s why her friend was studying to become a social worker. Maya disagreed with Deidre’s assessment, but kept her opinions to herself.

A minute later, Deidre yawned and Nina rubbed at her eyes. It was late and the trio commiserated with each other on their sleep deprivation. Both girls said their goodnights and left the room only after assured by Maya she was fine. Alone in her room, Maya prepared for bed. Before she lay down, she dared return to the window. Nothing. She sighed then moved to her mattress and pulled the bed coverings up. Wiggling into the downy softness, Maya closed her eyes and wished to any guardian spirit watching over her she could find an answer to what was happening. She was becoming more and more concerned over this matter. Maya closed her eyes, exhaustion taking her rapidly down into the REM state. A dream began. In it her abuela called to her and she ran to the diminutive, pudgy woman whom Maya adored. Her grandmother’s arms gathered the girl in and held her so tight. Maya inhaled. Her grandmother always smelled of lavendar soap and baking flour. Maya started to sob.

“Mija, why are you crying?”

“I’m scared, Grandma. It’s getting worse. I’m hearing the voices when I’m awake now. Am I crazy?”

“No, Gordita, you are not.”

Maya smiled. Her abuela always called her little fat girl because when Maya was very young she was short and chubby, just like her grandma. Even when Maya’s height finally caught up with her weight and she had become a curvy young woman with a healthy, athletic figure, abuela still called her by that name. Maya allowed it because it was said with love.

“What’s happening to me?” Maya sniffled and took the handkerchief her grandmother offered her. She was surprised to find laughter in her abuela’s dark, almond shaped eyes.

“The truth, Gordita. It is time to know of your birthright for She is calling to you.”

Maya didn’t know how to respond. A chill of foreboding mixed with an odd feeling of excitement warred within and she began to shiver, unsure of which sensation was winning. “M-my what?”

Abuela laughed merrily. “It is time to find out who you really are, Daughter of the Moon.”

Maya pulled away with sudden surprise and watched in disbelief as her abuela transformed.


Maya was hypnotized. Where her grandmother stood, a delicate, white coated doe now existed. An ethereal glow emanated from the hind. Light, almost blue-white in luminosity, ebbed and flowed around her. There were no words forming in Maya’s mind at the beauty of the creature. She could feel her spirit straining to burst free from her body. An overwhelming wave of love and empathy surrounded her.

“Time to run, Daughter. The Others are waiting.”

“I-I don’t know how…” Maya gestured to the deer, indicating her inability to transform. A sorrow claimed her, she was frustrated at her lack of understanding.

“Yes, you do. Remember?”

Maya could swear a smile appeared on the animal’s slender muzzle.

“I don’t…” Maya’s voice trailed away. She could feel an internal welling of energy building within. It engulfed her feet and moved its way up through her muscled calves, thighs and hips as it spiraled its way to her center. Maya’s solar plexus convulsed and she was forced down on her hands and knees. She gasped at the strength of the experience. There was no pain, only a great building of electricity so intense she couldn’t draw breath. There was pleasure, but the sensation came from her soul shouting its triumph as its efforts to escape were succeeding. In a final dynamic burst of power, Maya changed. There was a moment of understanding. Who she was and what she became collided in a symphony of harmonic awareness. Sight, sound, scent expanded and coalesced into sharp clarity. Maya knew everything. The remaining question was why. Why her?

“Follow, Daughter. You will soon learn all you need to know. Then, you will have a choice to make.” With that, the hind leaped across the lawn of Maya’s apartment complex. She dashed after her. The pair hit the beach in tandem at a full gallop. Maya shrieked with euphoria. One final push and her soul burst forth. In full stride, she ran and ran, doing what her heart had desired all along. She bounded through the cold waves crashing on the shore, the shock of the water spurring her forward as her companion urged her to greater speed, smiling at her enthusiasm.

The scent of the sea claimed Maya first. Never before had she smelled so many different odors. There was a variety of fauna. She laughed at the abundance, thrilled by their survival in such a damaged world. There was flora, earthbound and ocean living, in various stages of growth and decay. It was perfume to her, an intoxicating confirmation life thrived no matter what. Large ears didn’t miss a single sound. Vehicles, human lovemaking, babies fussing, dogs barking, it was endless.

Maya realized the scenery was changing. They were no longer on the shoreline of California. They were moving into the rolling desert hills of her home state. They had been running for hours. She was surprised at her stamina, not tired in the least. Different scents came to her and she inhaled. The air was dry, as other species of plants and animals were captured by her extraordinary sense of smell. They moved farther and deeper into hills that became greater, larger, higher. Her curiosity was piqued. They were now in the mountains for sure. Pine trees and snow resonated clean and crisp within her nostrils. She noted she wasn’t cold. Her thick pelt protected her well. Her guide led her through an abundant forest. They jumped and moved in synchronicity, Maya enraptured by her grandmother’s grace. In time, they slowed to a walk, stopped as they entered a clearing. Once again, she was startled by what she viewed. Even though Maya knew she was still in California, the scene before her looked as though she were in some ancient Celtic forest.

Eight other white hinds stood in the center of the opening in the dense woods. Each deer stood next to a stone monolith, each of which encircled a large shining rounded crystal, shaped like a pomegranate, two feet high. Within its center were protrusions of crystal looking like seeds. One stone monolith remained unoccupied. Maya stood in front of it. The energy pulsing from it and the crystal was palpable.

“You may change, Daughters.” This was the first time her grandmother spoke during their strange, exhilarating journey. Bright, intense light blasted the dell. Within moments, Maya was her human self and looking at eight other women. Some were older than she, some were younger, barely out of their teens. Instinct told her they were not American but from different parts of the world. One looked Middle Eastern, another African. A lovely red haired woman had a distinctly Irish appeal while an Asian woman with short black hair stood in silent contemplation. It was as if they were plucked from the tree of the world to represent their homelands. It was very clear all were here for a purpose. She turned to her abuela and realized she was no longer her mother’s mother, but the cloaked woman of her earlier encounters that evening.

The figure pulled back her hood. Maya drew in a sharp breath. Beautiful was a poor description of her. Long, golden blonde hair flowed down the woman’s back to her hips. Large eyes, a rich, sparkling brown framed by thick, dark lashes gleamed from a fair skinned face. Tall and lithe, dressed in clothing Maya could imagine would only be found in Arthurian legend, the lady moved easily to each woman within the circle, embraced every one in tender care. When she came upon Maya, she reached out and drew her in, holding, comforting her. Memories of her mother and grandmother’s love flooded through her. Maya knew she was home and finally comprehended the being before her.

The Goddess stepped back to the crystal in the center of the ring. “It is time, Daughters of the Moon. Our Earth Mother needs you. She can no longer endure the pain inflicted upon her by an uncaring humanity bent on its self-destruction. Each of you has been called as you are in or will be in distinct positions of power and influence to do your part to save Her. However, my Children, this will not be forced on you, as you do have choice.” She leaned down and removed nine small crystals from the interior of its parent.

The Lady moved toward every woman and presented her with a glowing gem. When she reached Maya, she extended her palm. Maya noted the clear stone beaming golden light and hesitated. Her field of study was psychology. She wanted to work in a clinic setting with adults afflicted with multiple personality disorder, but somehow she knew change would come, if she agreed.

“Daughter, your purpose is noble and true. I would ask you to consider reorienting your field of study to work children. Help them before their path twists beyond their ability to make wise decisions. Will you consider this?”

“I will.” Maya’s response was immediate. She realized though she had time to consider the request because each of the women in the circle was asked to consider a new path, to make a choice between what they knew and the potential of the unknown. All understood they must come to the decision on their own. To Maya their faces revealed their deepest thoughts as each considered the importance of this meeting tonight.

Raising her hands, the Goddess’s gaze looked to the heavens and she smiled. “Blessed be,” She whispered. A light converged in the dark sky. Milky and golden, a full moon moved over the glen. In a sudden burst of energy it cast its glow down on the group. The crystalline stone at the center of the ring caught the luminescence and refracted it, sending rainbow colors outward, catching Goddess and all.

“Blessed be,” all of the women responded in unison, arms uplifted. The intensity increased and the energy expanded.

“It is time to return to your lives, Daughters of the Moon.”

The hinds reappeared, Maya among them. To her delight, they darted and ran into the forest, stretching long slender legs, laughing and singing in their freedom, in the magic of the night. Maya felt herself returning, dashing back towards the desert, to her favorite place, the ocean, where once again she teased the waves. Stepping to the courtyard of her apartment building, Maya raised her delicate head. Her world spun and an irresistible urge to sleep pulled at her mind.


Maya woke with a start as her alarm clock blared. She slapped at the sentinel to shut it off and lay back in her bed. A feeling of disorientation filled her. I was dreaming again. Saddened by the fact she was able to remember the dream with perfect recall, but thinking it was only a dream, she rolled over, stared at the morning sky, wishing it had been real. As she did so, a sharp poking in her hip forced her to sit up. “Ouch,” she exclaimed.

As she pulled her blankets back, Maya gasped. A crystal approximately one inch long and wide, twinkled in the sunlight. It was mounted in silver filigree on a long silver chain, its sharp end standing at attention.

You are loved, Daughter of the Moon, she heard the Goddess whisper.

Maya started to cry, her heart welling with joy. It was real! In slow motion, she grasped the jewel, held it to her chest. It was warm and comforting and in its presence, her night with the Goddess returned in full force. Maya opened her eyes and put the necklace on.


Trick-or-treaters bombarded Maya’s apartment in a frenzy. The girls couldn’t believe how many children came to their door. The costumes were adorable and the kids’ enthusiasm for the night unending. Deidre and Nina took a moment in the lull to run to the local convenience store a block away. They were picking up more treats for the crowds as Maya continued to dole out their remaining candy.

When the last batch of children trickled down, Maya sat in tired happiness on her sofa. A few minutes later a timid knock caused her to stand and grab her half empty bowl of sweets. When she opened the door, a little girl with long, golden hair and chocolate eyes dressed as a princess stood before her, crying. “I’m lost. I don’t know where my Daddy is.”

Maya’s heart lurched. “Oh no, it’s okay, querida. Let me put on my shoes and I’ll help you find him, all right?”

The little girl snuffled and nodded her head, rubbing her tears on her sleeve. Maya returned within seconds and offered her hand to the child. “What’s your name?”

“Guinevere.” The child hiccupped.

“Wow, that’s pretty.”

“My daddy named me after my grandma.” She responded still sniffling while attempting to suck her thumb. The little girl told her all about her father, what he looked like and where she last saw him.

Maya’s whole body began to vibrate. Something was building. She was being called. They rode the elevator to the first floor of the complex then moved toward the lobby when the front double doors flew open. A frantic looking man was talking on his cell phone. She could hear him describing his child, this child. Maya breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Sir, I think I’ve found her,” she stated as she picked Guinevere up and presented her to him.

“Oh my God, Guin!” He yelled as he dropped his phone and reached for his daughter. He covered her in kisses, holding her tight, asked if she was scared, apologizing over and over. Turning to Maya, his face colored as if he were embarrassed. “She let go of my hand for only a second and got caught in a crowd of kids when the elevator doors closed. I was caught in the crowd on the elevator and couldn’t reach her!”

Maya smiled. “She’s okay. She knocked on my door and asked for help right away. She told me all about you. Guinevere is one smart little girl.”

He pulled Maya to him, hugged her and laughed. “Thank you! Thank you!”

Guinevere hugged his neck tight. The pair said goodbye to Maya once again and turned to leave the building. As she headed toward the elevator, she heard the man call the police department again to advise his daughter was found.

“Thank you, nice lady.” Guinevere smiled through her thumb, waving with remaining fingers.

Maya turned and returned the gesture. “You’re welcome. Hold on to your daddy’s hand and don’t let go from now on, alright?”

“I will,” she replied, leaning her head against her father’s.

A tear slicked Maya’s cheek. She experienced a profound relief and happiness. It was as if her own child had been rescued. As she watched the pair leave, Maya knew beyond a shadow of doubt she made her choice and she knew the Goddess smiled.


Dear Spirit-May 7, 2010, Tarot Fun Facts, Advice to Tarot Users and Readers

Hi folks, Erin Sinclair here with some interesting facts regarding the tarot.  This month’s Dear Spirit isn’t about questions, it’s about learning.  What I’m going to add to Dear Spirit is talks about the major and minor arcana in specifics, their potentials and possibilities. This will give you an idea of how I read and will include answering questions sent to Dear Spirit.

The tarot (pronounced tah-roe) is a deck of cards (usually numbering 78) used from the mid fifteenth century in various parts of Europe to play card games. The English and French word tarot is thought to have derived from the Italian word tarocchi but other than that, has no known linguistic root. Various theories abound with regard to the origin of the word, however. One idea relates the name tarot to the Taro River in northern Italy, near Parma as the original game seems to have originated in northern Italy, Milan or Bologna. Another thought is that it comes from the Arabic word turuq, related to tariq, which means way, although considered inaccurate based on modern evidence to date. Whatever its base, much is now known about the tarot and its beginnings. Below are the most commonly held inaccuracies and current understandings of the tarot, fun facts if anyone asks about the profession you have chosen to pursue.


Known but not accepted as accurate: The tarot comes from Egypt, India, China, Fez, Morocco, the Sufis, the Cathars, Jewish Kabbalists, Moses or that the origin of the tarot is unknown.

Current Historical Understanding: The tarot originated in northern Italy early in the 15th century (1420-1440). There is no evidence for it originating in any other time or place. The earliest extant cards are lavish hand-painted decks from the courts of the nobility.


Known but not accepted as accurate: The word is Egyptian, Hebrew or Latin, it is an anagram, it holds the key to the mystery of the cards.

Current Historical Understanding: The earliest names for the tarot are all Italian. Originally, the cards were called the carte da trionfi (cards of the triumphs). Around 1530 (about one hundred years after the origin of the cards), the word tarocchi (singular tarocco) begins to be used to distinguish them from a new game of Triumphs or Trumps then being played with ordinary playing cards. The German form is tarock, the French is tarot. Even if the etymology were known, it would probably not tell us much about the idea behind the cards, since it only came into use one hundred years after they first appeared. Kathleen Jameson, my former tarot teacher, suggests, based on her research, tarot means rota, the Wheel. It tells us to move through the entire Wheel of Life, the life-experience depicted by the cards. By traveling the “Royal Road” of Tarot, we reach tota, the total wholeness of our being. That explanation sounds as plausible as any other idea listed above even if it is not based on historic or archeological fact.


Known but not accepted as accurate: The symbolism of the trumps comes from Egypt, India or another exotic locale.

Current Historical Understanding: The symbolism of the trumps is drawn from the culture of Medieval and Renaissance Europe. Most tarot subjects are distinctive to European Christendom. Illustrations virtually identical to each of the tarot subjects can be found in European art and such precise analogs are not found in other cultures.


Known but not accepted as accurate: The gypsies brought the tarot to Europe and spread its use.

Current Historical Understanding: This idea was popularized in the nineteenth century by several writers without any basis in historical fact. There is no evidence that the Rom (gypsies) used tarot cards until the twentieth century. Most of their fortune-telling was through palmistry and later through the use of ordinary playing cards.


Known but not accepted as accurate: The 52-card deck evolved from the tarot, leaving the Joker as the only remnant of the major arcana.

Current Historical Understanding: Playing cards came to Europe from Islam, probably via Muslim Spain, about fifty years before the development of the tarot. They appeared quite suddenly in many different European cities between 1375 and 1378. European playing cards were an adaptation of the Islamic Mamluk cards. These early cards had suits of cups, swords, coins and polo sticks (seen by Europeans as staves), and courts consisting of a King and two male underlings. The tarot adds the Fool, the trumps and a set of queens to this system. Some time before 1480, the French introduced cards with the now-familiar suits of hearts, clubs, spades and diamonds. The earlier suits are still preserved in the tarot and in Italian and Spanish playing cards. The Joker originated in the United States around 1857, used as a wild card in poker and as the highest trump in Euchre. It appears to have no direct relationship to the Fool of the tarot.


Known but not accepted as accurate: The tarot was originally used for divination/magic/teaching secret doctrines/etc.

Current Historical Understanding: Written records tell that the tarot was regularly used to play a card game similar to Bridge. The game was popular throughout much of Europe for centuries and is still played today, particularly in France. Early poets also used the titles of the trump cards to create flattering verses, called tarocchi appropriate, in describing ladies of the court or famous personages of the time. Although it is possible that tarot cards might also have been sometimes used for other purposes, there is no clear evidence of such use until long after the cards were invented. Records from a trial in Venice in 1589 suggest that tarot may have been associated with witchcraft (at least in the minds of the accusers), about one hundred and fifty years after the appearance of the tarot, but their use as associated with magic or divination is not historically known until the eighteenth century.


Known but not accepted as accurate: Tarot was not used for divination before 1781.

Current Historical Understanding: There is evidence of such use, but it is fragmentary and suggestive rather than conclusive. Tarot was used as early as the sixteenth century to compose poems describing personality characteristics. In one case in 1527, the verses are presented as relating to the person’s fate. There are records of divinatory meanings assigned to tarot cards in Bologna early in the 1700s. This is the first unambiguous evidence of tarot divination as it is commonly understood. However, it is known that ordinary playing cards were connected to divination as early as 1487, so it is reasonable to conclude that tarot was also. From the 1790s, tarot design appears modified specifically to reflect divinatory and esoteric meanings.


Known but not accepted as accurate: There are no hermetic, heretical or kabbalistic reference characteristics in the original tarot.

Current Historical Understanding: This topic is still open to debate. The early Italian Renaissance, which gave birth to the tarot, was a time of great intellectual diversity and activity. Hermeticism, astrology, Neoplatonism, Pythagorean philosophy with roots in Alexandria, Egypt and heterodox Christian thought all thrived. Any or all of these may have left their mark on the design of the tarot. Although it should be remembered that all of the symbolism of the tarot has close analogs in the conventional Christian culture of the time, many scholars today believe that these philosophies, which are considered the foundations of occultism, were important in the design of the tarot.


Known but not accepted as accurate: The tarot has always been a pillar of the western esoteric tradition.

Current Historical Understanding: The first occult writers to discuss the tarot were Court de Gebelin and the Comte de Mellet in 1781. For three hundred and fifty years of its history, the tarot was not mentioned in any of the many books on the occult of magical philosophy. Following 1781, occult interest in tarot blossomed and the tarot then became an integral part of occult philosophy.


Known but not accepted as accurate: The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn (or Eliphas Levin, Papus, Zain, Case, etc.) knew the true astrological, elemental and Kabbalistic correspondences to the Tarot and corrected previous errors.

Current Historical Understanding: There are many, many systems of correspondences of the tarot. None can be shown to go back to the tarot’s origins, although the French tradition exemplified in the works of Eliphas Levi predates the English tradition now familiar through the work of Waite-Smith (Rider Waite). Most sets have a rationale and system that make them meaningful and useful when studied within their own tradition. Correspondences are a matter of individual choice and of intention or adherence to a school of thought rather than right or wrong.

When exploring the tarot it is important to remember that there are centuries of influence and change from all corners behind their creation. Most decks maintain a fundamental archetypal symbolism for each card in both the major and minor arcana. It is the role of the reader to understand all the influences involved in the modern tarot deck. Because of numerology, astrology and mythology from Christian orthodoxy to Jungian psychology, the tarot makes for a powerful tool to assist others and/or yourself in a quest to understand events around the querent. The tarot may be able to reveal to the consciousness a solution not thought of through mundane means or to aid a mind overburdened with an issue and unable to see the forest for the trees, so to speak.

The tarot does NOT determine the future, as one’s destiny is entirely up to the querent. The cards do not possess any mysterious powers, nor can they harm anyone if read from the proper perspective. The tarot cards reflect thoughts and actions in the subconscious and conscious mind, the most evident of energies currently surrounding the querent and possible outcomes. The tarot should only be used with the most positive of intentions, utilizing them for negative or malicious purposes will cause a negative backlash to the invoker…what goes around comes around. They are not a tool to be feared, nor are they evil, but it is human nature to fear the unknown or the unexplained. Take some time prior to a reading to discuss with your client their belief systems, to explain the concepts of free will and personal choice in their destiny, prepare them for what they will experience. I personally have advised clients who grew up in a Christian based belief system of the symbolism of some of the more intense imagery of the tarot (i.e., the Death card, the Devil, the Hanged Man, the Tower, etc.) to hopefully avoid a superstitious reaction to the reading. It will help calm them and allow them to open to you on an energetic level to provide the assistance they might need.

Although the tarot may be utilized for divination, I personally find it is at its most powerful and unique when assisting the querent to find their own answers, to control their own destiny and to make full use of their gift of choice. The tarot is best suited for learning about oneself, one’s reactions to life’s apparent never-ending struggles, to increase self-awareness and possibly obtain a new point of view. It can help to clarify past events, understand why they took place and possibly give insight into how to avoid the same choice therefore the same results again or even how to turn a seeming negative into a positive. Remember, good, bad, negative, positive are matters of perception most of the time because human beings live a belief system where duality is the rule (love and hate, male and female, war and peace, etc.)

It is not in the best interests of the querent or the reader for an absolute conclusion, a decisive, if you do or don’t do something, you will break your leg kind of prediction. Yes, the cards can provide specifics including physical death and as a responsible reader you must be as honest with your client as possible. But, given the power of suggestion and the potential mind-set of one’s client, think long and hard about providing a doomsday answer. You could potentially set in motion a chain of events with devastating consequences to all concerned in predicting dire outcomes or you could very easily take on another’s karma by denying them choice, a heavy and unnecessary burden that could interfere with your desire to help someone or your personal growth. Learn the art of diplomacy, remember to always choose your words carefully, paying heed to the simple fact that everyone is the master of their destiny with lessons to learn. Even if blockages or unnerving events are seen and there really is no other answer than to explain an ominous meaning, advise your client to consider you more of a road sign that admonishes the querent to consider all options in order to give them the best suggestion to guide themselves through darker moments of their path. Not all paths can be joyful all the time, into every life rain must fall. Maybe, just maybe, you will provide an idea for a solution that will help them ward off the worst of a situation or perhaps learn the lessons they need to learn in order to lessen the harsher aspects of a seemingly negative event.

If you are doing a health reading, be most especially mindful of the fact that, despite your gifts, YOU ARE NOT A TRAINED MEDICAL OR MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. ADVISE YOUR CLIENT TO SEEK THE ASSISTANCE OF THEIR DOCTOR OR THERAPIST FOR HELP IF YOU SEE SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF A PHYSICAL OR MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE THAT COULD SHOW A NEGATIVE OUTCOME. You can be sued if you give such advice without the licensure behind you to support your conclusions no matter how sure you are they are correct. I’ve seen it happen and the United States is a sue happy country so read the tarot with the utmost of responsibility, professionally and personally.

Most of all remember the importance of what you do as a reader. You can be a bearer of hope and introspection, light and love, when the querent is at a crossroads in their life and unsure where to turn. That’s a noble position to be in, a precious gift from The Source not to be taken lightly.

Next month, I’ll discuss numerology, astrology and symbology of the tarot, until then, take care!

Erin Sinclair, “For love that’s out of this world!”,

Bibliography: The Tarot Manual by Kathleen Jamieson with updates and additions by yours truly;  The TarotL Tarot History Information Sheet by members of the TarotL discussion group  (, (Mary K. Greer, Tom Tadfor Little, Nina Lee Braden, Linda Dunn, Mark Filipas, Robert V. O’Neill, Christine Payne-Towler, Robert Place, James Revak, and others, compiled and edited by Tom Tadfor Little; Wikipedia (the general facts that agree with other sources).  Many thanks to all for their research and dedication to this field. 

DISCLAIMER: The information provided in this column is for entertainment purposes only.  It is not for sale, nor is it used for profit in any way, nor is there any intent to plagarize.  To put it bluntly, it is not supplied to steal another’s thunder or take credit for someone else’s work. It is simply to inform and spread the word about this ancient and fascinating subject.  All information provided is borrowed from well-researched articles by individuals seeking to elucidate and explain this beautiful art form, to lift the veil of superstition and bring the Tarot to the 21st century, while respecting the ancient history connected to it.  Feel free to contact me at if you have any questions or comments.

March 5, 2010-Dear Spirit-Focus is on careers in a tight economy and the Tulsa Psychic Fair

Hello to all Pagan and Pen readers…Erin Sinclair here with two new questions and an article about the Tulsa Psychic Fair.

First query is from a man who has run a successful business for some time now, but started over from scratch a year and a half ago after a huge corporate shake-up within his firm.  Now he’s narrowed down his focus to one specific type of practice and asks about how to harness new energy for its success.

“Dear Spirit, I’m a 40 something man who ran a successful business for years.  Just recently (18 months to be exact) I changed my company’s focus.  Everything is new…new building, new direction, new staff and so forth. I don’t know if I believe in all the hocus pocus of divination as I am a Christian man, but I do believe the human mind to be a powerful instrument and capable of astounding feats of functionality.  An employee of mine who practices feng shui suggested I write to you, so here it goes.   What energies are around this new venture and how do I harness them for success?  Thank you, RLR, Long Island, NY”

RLR, thank you for your question.  It seems that everyone is concerned about career growth especially in this economy.  You mention you’re a Christian and a man of science in the same sentence.  I find this intriguing as I sincerely believe that science and spirituality go hand in hand, each lifting and supporting the other.  When there is balance in this approach I find one experiences the wonders of the universe with an inherent sense of responsibility toward discovery and the innate “magic” such a search can bring to the seeker.  With that stated, your cards pulled as follows:  The ‘9’ card-upright Mastery (The Chariot); your first initial-upright King of Swords; your second initial-upright Queen of Swords; and your third intial-upright The Close (Death). 

The Mastery card tells me without doubt you have made the correct decision in changing the direction and focus of your business.  As it vibrates to the number ‘7’, a number representative of marching to the beat of your own drum as well as victory after a struggle, this was not an easy task for you, but ultimately, after a hard fight, triumph was yours.  You do not indicate exactly what happen for you to make such dramatic changes to your company, however, my sense is (due to the influence of the Sword cards pulled) you found your former circumstances completely unacceptable to your continued growth.  Literally and figuratively, you cut the wheat from the chaff so to speak and terminated business contacts not conducive to your expansion, eliminated employees who were more hangers-on than helpers, even changing your business address to put a new face on the new direction you decided boded well for future success.  The Mastery card is indicative of having faith in oneself, so do not allow your enthusiasm for your new approach to lag, you have the power around you now to gather in the energy and focus it into a powerful force to use toward your success.  This card also indicates you are a person who likes being in the driver’s seat and to exert control over any given situation.  Your motivation comes from your questioning mind and your well-developed will power.  Keep on driving, your vehicle is well equipped and will provide for you.  However, the team that is pulling you toward your goals and aspirations can only be controlled through will power.  This is a dangerous place to be in, for you are working with fellow human beings to support your dreams of a golden future.  Be sure to give them the respect and kudos they deserve for the quality employees you believe them to be.  If you micro-manage every single aspect of your business, you could very well create blocking energy that will ultimately manifest in negativity and that is not the key to growth.  The King and Queen of Swords strongly indicate to me that they represent you and a trusted employee who has been with you for a long time.  You are a no-nonsense man who wants what he wants and wants it NOW.  The Queen feels overwhelmingly like a female manager who knows how to work with your temperament, your desires, your wants and business needs.  She is as mentally acute as you are, so count yourself lucky you have this individual in your corner for The Queen of Swords is no one to trifle with…be good to her and she will reward you in kind with stellar skills and protection when you need it most as she thinks just like you do.  Mistreat or undervalue her and you could very well find yourself in an audit with the IRS, as an angry queen is a dangerous creature, LOL!  The third card, The Close, is telling me there are HUGE changes ahead for your company.  Because it is upright, this feels exciting, daunting, but overall a good thing.  At this juncture, keep your mind open to possibility and be flexible.  Your new enterprise still needs trimming and whittling in order to become the smooth, efficient machine you want it to be.  I realize you’ve recently moved, but there is a strong possibility of moving once again.  I take this to indicate your new venture becomes so successful you are able, for example, to buy your own office building instead of leasing space in one.  Good luck in your future adventure!

Our next querent states she has recently taken the chance to branch out into the field of self-employment.  She would like to know if this was a wise decision, as it is in the field of real estate in California.  I give her kudos for attempting to become self-employed, most especially in a field that has been so battered by the housing downturn.

“Dear Spirit, I’ve been struggling to find employment in my field as a mortgage processor for almost two years now and have been unsuccessful.  It has been one long bad dream of ego-bruising, most especially when I know what a great employee I am.  I’ve recently become a realtor and have already secured my first sale with many more coming.  I’m excited for the first time in a long time in this new adventure and would like to know how my future looks now that I’ve made this choice.  Much appreciation for your response!  HAW, Lake Forest, CA.”

Dear HAW, Man, when I first read this I felt this blanket of “sorrow” cover me.  It must have been so difficult and so scary being in your situation.  I, too, was the victim of a blown real estate market.  I’m still hurting over what happened to my former home, but things change and the best one can do is roll with the punches.   I thought long about the spread I pulled for you and I felt two things.  The first, a sense of loss on many levels, the second, a sensation of many beings stating in one voice…it’s about time!  My thought on the latter is you are in a great career field for your lifestyle as it will give you much needed independence and flexibility.  My strong impression is despite the market you will do well, you just need to give it time and don’t bite off more than you can chew.  The cards seem to reflect this as your ‘9’ card is the upright Six of Swords, your first initial is the upright Seven of Pentacles, your second initial is the reversed Page of Pentacles and your third initial is the upright Ten of Rods.  The Six of Swords tells me you are moving from a bad situation to a good one, from more challenging to more peaceful times.  Spirit is definitely guiding you at this time, your mind and soul are one and listening to one another clearly.  You are finally seeing things as they really are and not the way you would like them to be.  In other words, you tried going corporate because that was what you were supposed to do.  One day you decided to do what you wanted to do.  Good for you!  The Six of Swords is also known as the healing card.  You are now on the way to healing from the burdensome mental stress you’ve been under.  Breathe and look forward to new beginnings.  Intriguingly enough, the ‘6’ vibration is all about karmic sowing, so plant your garden and tend it with care, abundance will be yours.  The Seven of Pentacles (I’m sensing a theme here, lots of ‘7’ energy in these readings, victories after a struggle).  This is representative of a period of waiting, of not knowing how a matter will manifest itself.  You will need to be patient in this new venture for it will take time to build a clientele, connections, plus you are contending with the current market.  Be careful financially (again, remember, karmic sowing).  Now, bear in mind that doesn’t mean that you will not receive the rewards of what you have worked for, just realize success will come with patience and responsibility.  This card is here to remind you not to make any major financial decisions at this time, keep your hard-earned dollars close and don’t spend frivolously.  The reversed Page of Pentacles is telling me you may have trouble with bureaucracy in some way, whether it be with your licensure or paperwork regarding a sale.  Just make sure every ‘t’ is crossed and ‘i’ is dotted and all is as it needs to be.  The final card gives me pause because my first reaction to it is you tend to take on too much.  Perhaps you feel the need to be in control to give you a sense of security, perhaps you don’t know how to say ‘no’ for fear of hurting someone’s feelings.  The Ten of Rods upright is indicative of self-oppression or withholding communication for fear of how it will be received.  There’s always a way to communicate, sometimes you just have to be blunt.  There’s a time for diplomacy and there’s a time for in your face honesty.  Use your best judgment.  While it is true you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, sometimes it’s just not worth all the flies, I say.  It is also indicative of taking on too many things at once.  I’m sensing this is a consistent sort of behavior for you.  Give yourself a break and start re-orienting life around your needs and with others demands on you.  The word ‘no’ is not a bad word at the appropriate time.  The fact that the Ten of Rods is the outcome card in your spread shows that you will persevere in spite of difficulties, burdens or financial problems.  You will succeed as a realtor, you will resolve and complete all issues your long-term unemployment brought into your life and your new venture will ease much of the previous tension you have been dealing with for so long!  I send you positive energy for this new path you are on, HAW!

That’s all for the readings this month everyone!  Now, I’d like to tell you about a neat little psychic fair I attended in my new home state of Oklahoma.  It was held at the Sheraton Select in Tulsa on February 27 and 28, 2010.  I’ve been to a few psychic fairs and as fairs go it was rather small, but fun.  At this particular event, there were jewelry makers, stone sellers, bookstore owners, tarot readers, artists.  There were a couple of organic herbal marketers as well as an organic make-up business woman.  There were some cool spirit artists.  There was one woman who played with digital photography mixed into acrylic paintings.  A rainbow spectrum of color played out on every piece.  It was a unique approach to painting that I enjoyed.  There was a Kirlian photographer there who captured auras.  The results were fascinating.  Everyone appeared to have billowing mists of color flowing around them, some whose hues were pronounced and intense, others’ colors muted and soft, like a gentle spring rain.  She even took photos of participants’ companion pets.  The animal energy looked “happy”, big bubbling clouds of lavenders and pinks, blues and white.  I have to say though, the best part for me was the billet readings by Cyndy Green.  She was amazing.  For those of you not familiar with billet readings, the basic gist of the event is you write a close ended question or two on a 3X5 piece of paper.  You can ask your guides, masters, teachers, those loved ones who have crossed over to assist you in answering your questions.  Fold it over, hold it between your palms and concentrate on the questions.  In Cyndy’s case, she tapes her eyes shut, then blindfolds herself.  She begins to sing to music that puts her in a meditative trance.  All of the billets are collected and brought to her in a covered box.  She starts picking up the billets and rubs them in her hands, on her crown and 3rd eye chakra.  Her spirit guide, Tidbit, assists her as well as the guides and spirits who people have called upon to answer their questions.  They step into the room and provide her the answers querents’ seek.  THIS WOMAN IS AMAZING, rightly announcing names, facts, descriptions of those who had crossed over and were now in the room.  I wrote two questions down.  One was closed ended and specific…will I be attending college by the summer of 2010, followed by an open-ended question…spirit what do I need to know at this time to help guide me on my path?  Cyndy did not come to me directly, but spirit works in strange and wonderful ways.  I was told via other participants’ readings every single thing I needed to know in very specific detail.  One young woman was informed the only one keeping her from going to school was her, that it was time to return and her decision to return to school was based on the false belief funds were not available.  She was informed to just go for it because the money would be there for her to attend.  The receiver sheepishly nodded her head but didn’t seem as impressed by the message as I did.  I felt strongly that message was intended for me.  The next querent was advised that a spirit who tends to animal spirits wanted to let her know that “all the babies were fine, doggie heaven is great and he’s being well-tended.”  My 9 1/2 year old beagle Charlie passed away last month after a brief but severe illness.  I was absolutely heartbroken and inconsolable for a week, so much so, that my boss let me go home because he felt sorry for me as I tried to hide my tears from him.  The guilt I have been feeling that I could have done more for him was huge.  I felt as if I betrayed him and all the unconditional love he had give me over the years.  Then this nice lady, said “the babies are all okay”.  I received an electric shock of the familiar.  I call my dogs “babies” all the time, i.e., come on my babies time for dinner, come on babies let’s go inside.  Coincidence?  Could be, but then she stated “everything has a time to live and a time to die, it is nature and the way of things. Do not feel guilty at his passing, it was simply his time and all is well with him. He is happy, healthy and running through green fields.  My sorrow lifted.  Charlie loved to run.  He was a beautiful, sleek dog whose favorite thing to do when he was a pup was to run and run.  I have no doubt now he is surrounded by love in his new home, just as he was when he was in my home.  The next message I received was with regard to my relationship with my children.  She stated no matter what is said, no matter how they come at you, stand your ground in love.  Never waiver from that and words and deeds will cause no harm.  When they recognize they are loved and you are coming to them in love, they’ll accept that love and all will be well.  There were a couple of other messages, a little too personal to state here, but I just have to say I left feeling assuaged and uplifted by the energy that came to me during the experience.  I am a practicing medium/psychic, there were so many spirits in the room that day, in so many different shapes, sizes and spectral colors, the whole room seem to vibrate with the energy.  Here’s her website for those who are curious- . 

Until next month folks!  Remember, never forget to give yourself the opportunity to explore the unlimited possibilities of the universe!


Erin Sinclair, “For love that’s out of this world!”

January 29, 2010 Dear Spirit…On Women’s Issues-Women in Power

Since this month at The Pagan and the Pen is dedicated to women’s issues I thought I’d write about women in positions of power and save the readings for the next go round.

I read a fascinating story recently about Boudica, Queen of the Iceni tribe of ancient Britain. She was a force to be reckoned with for a moment in history, when she fought against Rome and won.  In fact, she was so fear inducing the Roman Emporer, Nero, seriously considered the idea of abandoning the country to the indigenous people.

Boudica (there are several spellings of her name, for ease of use, I chose one of the more modern representations) was married to Prasutagus, an Icenian king who ruled, only barely, in conjunction with Rome, and from whom borrowed considerable amounts of money. When he died, the Celtic king left joint rule in his will to his daughters as well as the Roman Emporer. The patriarchal society of Rome refused to honor his request upon his passing. His kingdom was annexed immediately and Boudica was flogged, while her daughters raped, publicly. All the money borrowed by Prasutagus from Roman lenders was called in. The Iceni people didn’t stand a chance against such manipulation.

In about AD 60/61, while the Roman governor Paulinus was away at war, Boudica led the Iceni and the Trinovantes in a revolt. Her wrath was unrelenting, her vengeance mighty. They destroyed Camulodunum (Colchester), routing a Roman legion, the IX Hispania, which was sent to protect the settlement. Londinium (London) fell next, completely razed and burned to the ground along with Verulamium (St. Albans).  Supposedly, close to 80,000 people died, but that statistic is unverified. Shortly thereafter, the Romans regrouped in the West Midlands and despite the Queen’s overwhelming numbers, she was defeated at the Battle of Watling Street. Rather than be captured by despised Roman hands, she poisoned herself.

Another woman of power, also attempting to force the hand of Rome, shared the same fate. Cleopatra VII Philopater ruled Egypt at a time when Rome was at its most strong–the time of Julius Caesar.  Her charisma and her beauty combined with an exceptional mind captured the attention some of the world’s most powerful men. Contrary to popular belief, Cleopatra was descended from a Greek line, not an Arabic one. Much was made of this incredible woman who could charm the skin off a snake and according to legend, ultimately died from its bite. In the Life of Antony, Plutarch wrote “judging by the proofs which she had before this of the effect of her beauty upon Caesar and Gnaeus, the son of Pompey, she had hopes that she would more easily bring [Marc] Antony to her feet. For Caesar and Pompey had known her when she was still a girl and inexperienced in affairs, but she was going to visit Antony at the very time when women have the most brilliant beauty.” According to Plutarch what ultimately made Cleopatra attractive were her wit, charm and “sweetness in the tones of her voice.”

It was recorded by Roman historians that Boudica was “possessed of greater intelligence than often belongs to women”. She was tall, had long red hair down to her hips, a harsh voice and a piercing glare.” In my mind, she was considered a woman of beauty as well as power. Perhaps her appearance was too much for Roman taste, but I think her stature was impressive enough for a people whose sense of independence was resolute and unwavering. The fact they respected women as equal enough to lead them, the fact their king willed his kingdom to his daughters, speaks volumes to me about a woman’s equality in their culture.

So what happened to us? What rabbit hole did the human race fall into that women became gelded over time and were treated as chattel? One could argue, hey, men are physically stronger and eventually realized that power was a great equalizer. Perhaps. Another argument indicates that women became too full of themselves and their egos led to their downfall, again, perhaps.

My personal life experience has shown me the strongest woman is stronger than the strongest man. Oh, I hear the groaning now. That is NOT a She-Ra Manhater comment. Men have a different kind of mental, emotional and physical strength. Both sexes have a purpose, both have strengths and weaknesses the other can use and shore up when the going gets tough. We need one another for harmony and balance. It is the natural order of things. What I’m stating is in our modern-day society, women are still allowed to feel and men have been forced over time to stifle the free expression of their gentler emotions. It seems only pride, boasting, anger, aggressiveness are dominant although to be fair, joy, celebration, and love can still be shared if the moment is right. Goddess forbid a man is caught crying in public, he will, 9 times out of 10, be shunned for it (even by women, truth be told), unless he is in mourning. Again, just personal opinion, but a fairly accurate one, I think.

When I watched Hilary Clinton try for the Democratic nomination for Presidency, I was all for it. She has the mind and tenacity to serve in such a position and it’s high time women started vying for that most vaunted of public service. What dumbfounded me though, was watching the crowds around her. In one speech she gave, the camera panned the audience of supporters. As the camera moved right, a man, more than likely put in the audience by the male competition she ran against, held up a sign.  It read, “WASH MY SHIRT.” Goddess help me I wanted to reach right through the television screen and pound that man into submission, Boudica style. Then, I laughed. What it ultimately showed me was how threatened he was by a woman in power. I tickled myself with the thought his sex life must be very boring if he’s always the dominant partner to his woman, i.e., Missionary style.

We have come so far, we women. I do not underestimate how hard we have worked to re-establish our equality, nor the male support we have in pursuing it. The sign incident during Hilary’s campaign shows we still have far to go, though. Until then, I will teach by setting an example not only to my daughters, but to everyone, male and female, power and/or leadership is not about dominance or the ability to dominate (which works, but is a very dangerous way to live), it is not about gender. It is about discipline, self-control and, in my opinion, altruism, working for the highest of purposes for the benefit of all.

Until next time!

Erin Sinclair, (“For love that’s out of this world!”),