In an earlier post on relationship I mentioned that relationship is a central concept in Druidry. I was asked in what sense I meant that as being specifically a feature of Druidry, and not religion as a whole. So today’s post is a proper attempt at answering that. (And, if you spot things I’ve skated over and need talking about properly, poke me, I am always appreciative of the pointers and inspiration.)
I think it is fair to say that relationship is a feature of every religion – relationship with the divine, and the world, which are usually viewed as two separate things. The book religions tend to specify very clearly how those relationships should be manifested. There are ways of praying, times to pray, songs to sing. There are people specifically responsible for mediating between divinity and the rest of us. There are prescribed forms of relationship that are ‘good’ – monogamous, permanent heterosexual marriage usually, and there are forms of relationship that are not allowed – gay relationships, plural relationships, sex outside marriage, etc. Where many religions are concerned, part of the shape of the religion is the way it defines our relationships for us and tells us how we ought to go about them.
When it comes to Pagan religions, some do more to define our relationships than others. Druidry very specifically does not pin down how we should relate to our gods or how we should express that. Druid ritual tends to be vague about naming deities a lot of the time, respecting that you might not all follow the same gods. The web of connection, the sense that all things inter-relate and are affected by each other, is very much part of a Druidic understanding of the cosmos. We don’t see ourselves as separate from nature, nor do we see gods as entirely separate from nature. We tend towards an environmental consciousness that recognises interdependence and unity. We have no rules about who you can love or how you should love them, beyond the requirement for honour. Druidry requires us to form our own relationships.
By encouraging our awareness of relationship, Druidry takes us towards conscious, engaged, thoughtful connections. But it doesn’t tell us how to do it. That would create dogma and would take away responsibility. It is crucial that we, as Druids, fully own our own relationships, are conscious of them, enter them mindfully and act based upon our own sense of honour and our own insight. This enables us to create relationships that are unique, intense, deeply felt and part of our spiritual experience. There is no room for complacency or taking for granted. I can talk about what makes good relationship, what it feels like and what it does, but I can’t tell you how to go out there, find someone or something to do this with and make it work.