Dear Daily Mail

An open letter on behalf of The Pagan Conspiracy.

Just to make it absolutely clear that there is a pagan conspiracy. We have systematically infiltrated every profession, and each branch of government. We are subtle, and clever and we get everywhere. This is of course a deliberate attempt to take over the country and undermine all its traditional values – you know those values about fear, racism, ignorance and intolerance, shafting the poor to uphold the rich, and wrecking the planet for short term material gain. In our attack on these oh so important values we are, of course, threatening to destroy western civilization and bring about the end of the world as we know it.

When we have taken over the world, you will all be forced to accept our liberal and tolerant policies. There will be no escape from this. We will inflict upon every man, woman and child the horror of having to listen to their own consciences. We will demand that people act responsibly and treat each other with respect.

Once we have secured enough positions of power we will be promoting education and waging war on bigotry, stupidity and the kind of people who make money by feeding off the fear of others.

You are right to be afraid of Paganism. If everyone goes Pagan, who will read the Daily Mail?

(Join The Pagan Conspiracy today. Copy the above, and then email it to your friends, post it on your own blog, spread it about as a facebook note, #paganconspiracy on twitter, print it out and pin it to the toilet door…)

19 thoughts on “Dear Daily Mail”

  1. Berriscient, oh, it takes all types, I’m sure there are pagans who are devoted to the Daily wail, There must be at least, what, three out there? And yes, there are even fascists who call themselves pagans, so far as I am aware. It’s impossible to speak for everyone, it’s as big a nonesense as the idea that there could actually be a pagan conspiracy… I’ve tried to organise pagans for small events, it’s hard work… 🙂


  2. Hee hee, I am a pagan and I read the Daily Mail! (ONLY BECAUSE MY MUM BUYS IT, she adds hurriedly!) I just wanted to say congratulations on getting your letter published in that esteemed rag!

    I missed the article itself, though… what date was it printed? Now searching the net for it, so I can get mad too! Occasionally, I agree with what appears in the DM, other times they make me want to scream.


  3. Found it. Pah, Melanie Phillips, I might have known! She can always be relied on for her shameless ignorance. However the on-line comments following her article were excellent. Don’t suppose she’ll take any notice, though.

    PS I love your site, I’ll be back!


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