Well, now…I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m excited. I love new ventures, they carry so much potential. With that stated, Dear Spirit is changing and growing into something bigger and hopefully, better.
My new column will be called Dear Goddess and it will involve a subject near and dear to my heart–Women’s Studies. Now I’d like to preface this by saying this will NOT be about male-bashing, She-Ra ManHater reporting. It will involve research, editorializing, commentary, story telling, whatever strikes my fancy. I’ll still be available for readings if you’d like. You know the routine by now, send me your question to firstname.lastname@example.org, the initials of the name you currently vibrate under, and your city and state. I’ll be happy to do a reading for you and post your answer as soon as reasonably possible. I’ll respond to your email with the date that I will post your answer. Please feel free to comment where you think I got it right and/or wrong once your reading is posted. The same disclaimer from Dear Spirit applies, but for those who aren’t aware, tarot readings (something I take very seriously) performed at The Pagan and the Pen are for ENTERTAINMENT ONLY. If you have an issue of a serious nature, while I’m happy to provide suggestions and guidance to your query, I’m not a therapist, attorney, priest/minister (although Priestess sounds nice, LOL). I will not give advice on something for which I am not fully licensed and trained. I will give you my psychic impressions, medium “speak”, and some good ole fashioned common sense though as Spirit’s advice comes from many sources. Note that there is no specific day to expect this column, it will work around my personal schedule as I now have a full plate of work, school, and author deadlines, but I think when I do post you’ll enjoy the articles. Without further adieu, welcome to Dear Goddess!
I thought long and hard about this first article. I researched some pretty fascinating information on the general idea of goddess as opposed to details per se. Casey, our former site host, posted an interesting column on goddess days, their origination, their meaning and so forth, therefore I felt it would be copying a terrific original as opposed to the reader hearing my voice, if I did.
I was looking through some older writings of mine, posted to another blog site a couple of years ago and I found a blog that sums up some of the challenges being female. Every human being on this planet has a spark of the Divine within them. It’s sometimes hard to recognize that however, when your body chooses to remind you that flame is encased in a miraculous, but very physical form and all of its associated “operations” as it were. It is entitled “Divine Femininity or How to Survive the Hormone Rollercoaster Without Taking Over the World”. Enjoy.
Day 1 – Messy, cramping, aches, bloating. Fat pants are in, comfortable cuddly stretchy fleece or knit, no buttons, no zippers, no anything that could possibly make me feel like grabbing a sharp blade and cutting them away from my stomach. I am tender to the touch but desperately want to be held. If anyone messes with me, (most especially and inexplicably anything male), if they make one comment, one nasty snide remark (don’t even think about couching it in humor, I’ll see right through it), nefarious and wicked things will occur to any exposed body part in their sleep— in marker—in shiny, black, permanent marker for all the world to see. Plans to take over the world are in motion. I will have my way, I will seize power and it will be mine, all mine! Muahahah. If only I wasn’t so tired. Hmm, maybe a nap first then world dominance.
Day 5 – All done. The sun is shining, the birds are singing! Snow White has nothin’ on me. I have energy, I can jump, I can leap, I can share my joy and good thoughts with the world. Can’t wait to put on my jeans. Very nice, very sexy. Look at that butt, my butt looks awesome. Think I’ll hit a club tonight and go dancing, do some flirting. Who wants to rule the world, when I feel so free!
Day 10 – Wow, what was that achy little cramp I felt? Oh yes, ovulation. Better stock up on protection just in case. Now is not the time for accidents or carelessness. Wow, my man is cute. I’m in the mood, I wonder if he is. Oh wait, football’s on tonight. Oh, I don’t think so, no one stops the Goddess from having her way. I’ll be relentless, a temptress, a seductress, he’ll be unable to resist me.
Later that evening…
Holy Cow, we fogged the windows! I was awesome, I was an animal. He loves me, he really loves me! He’s twitching, hardly able to walk, like Jeff Foxworthy said, if he’s walkin’ like a newborn colt afterwards, you’ve done your job. Yep, giddy-up cowboy. Time for round two.
Day 15 – That was the sweetest Hallmark commercial I’ve ever seen. Sniffle, just beautiful. Man, I have the munchies, do we have any chips? I’m craving something, what do I want, oh I know, I think there’s a Milky Way chocolate bar in my desk. Ahh, perfect but not enough. I’m going to the store, do you need anything? Wow, that driver was a jerk, oh well, when you live in a city of one million bad drivers what can you do? If you get mad at all the bad ones you’ll be mad all day long. If I were Empress of the world, I would change the driving laws. Empress hmm, I like that title. I would tag all bad driver’s vehicles with signs on little rubber suction cups that state “Dork”. More than ten on your vehicle, a cop can pull you over and give you a ticket for being an idiot.
Day 20 – Why is my back hurting? God my ankles look a little swollen today. I need salt, I want sugar. No go to the gym you’ll feel better. Oh great, my back still hurts. Now I’m sweaty, stinky AND achy. Is there ever any good news to report? This world is so screwed up. If I ruled the world, I could fix all the ills immediately. I’d appoint Sweeney Todd as my Secretary of State, he’d be an awesome negotiator. Feed the starving children, if you don’t perhaps a nice shave and haircut could persuade you…oops, next please.
Day 25 – Everything is making me cry. Damn it, I’ve had to restore my mascara three times. I never knew how touching the movie The Santa Clause was. My back aches, my stomach hurts, where are my fat pants? I’m so tired I think I’ll lay down for a nap. NOBODY BOTHER ME. Oh, what a dream. I dreamt I was Alexander the Great and just conquered Asia, figures, why couldn’t I have been Alexadra the Great? If I ruled the world all corporate corruption would end. Say, there are my plans for world dominance, must tweak them. It’s all about the timing.
Day 28 – I’m cramping so bad, where’s the heating pad? Midol, Pamprin throw them on a Lazy Susan, round and round she goes wherever she stops, Mama finds relief. I’m eating them like Sweet Tarts. Oh sweet release, that should stop the pain for a couple of hours.
Day 1 (again) – Messy, cramping, aches, bloating. Fat pants are in, comfortable cuddly stretchy fleece or knit, no buttons, no zippers, no anything that could possibly make me feel like grabbing a sharp blade and cutting them away from my stomach. I am tender to the touch but desperately want to be held. If anyone messes with me, (most especially and inexplicably anything male), if they make one comment, one nasty snide remark (don’t even think about couching it in humor, I’ll see right through it), nefarious and wicked things will occur to any exposed body part in their sleep— in marker—in shiny black permanent marker, for all the world to see. Plans to take over the world are in motion. I will have my way, I will seize power and it will be mine, all mine! Muahahah. If only I wasn’t so tired. Hmm, maybe a nap first then world dominance.
Oh, the joys of Divine Femininity, the excitement of the hormone rollercoaster! When we step into the Virgin stage we’re untried, untested, slowly but surely learning and understanding our personal power. Whatever would we do without the thrill-a-minute-ride of womanhood? We surge into the Mother, abundant, creative, capable of nurturing and producing life in all its grand and glorious form, able to handle multiple tasks and leap tall buildings in a single bound. I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never ever let you forget you’re a man, ‘cause I’m a WOMAN, W-O-M-A-N, but I digress. No sooner has the rollercoaster returned, then we’re forced back into our seats, bars down for ONE MORE TRIP AROUND THE BEND. Woohoo. If that wasn’t enough, just as we figure out how to get off, the Perimenopause Train whisks us away for a few years finally landing us in Menopauseville where we charge bravely, passionately (usually) into the Crone persona. We are dark, we are mysterious, and we are STRENGTH incarnate on the physical plane. Wise, full of ancient secrets, no one can usurp our personal power any longer. Yep, I’m gonna say it. We are big bad bold beautiful women, hear us roar!
Until next time, Goddesses and Gods!
Erin Sinclair, “For love that’s out of this world!”, www.erinsinclairauthor.com