Staring Death In The Face…

Back in 2005 I had a vision. I’m not prone to visions, I’ve had about 2 in my entire life. This one came as I was waking up. I did not open my eyes, but I was fully conscious. The vision came into my mind clear as a TV screen. I was in a classroom, with the old style wooden desk-chairs with the curved half desk table top. A green chalk board was in the front and a friend of mine was sitting in his seat in front of me in a way blocked the teacher’s desk. When my friend turned to face front I was able to see the teacher’s desk and sitting behind it, staring at me…was Death. Skull face, hooded robe. There was no doubt in mind it was Death, though I did not see the scythe. He was looking right at me. I was caught in his gaze and I kept saying; “Do not look away. Do not look away. Do not look away.” I stared him down for about 30 seconds to a minute. Finally, he lowered his head and turned his back on me. The vision faded to black and I opened my eyes. I told a friend of mine about this vision, and she said, “Death was the teacher?” It took me off guard, but she stated the obvious and I had not put two and two together. But she was right. Death *was* the teacher. And he was the one who broke the stand-off and turned his back on me. I am now living that vision. Death is the teacher and I am facing him down. I’ve had cancer for five months now, uterine cancer, at least starting in the uterus. Doctor thought it was a fibroid tumor. The Endometrium biopsy showed ‘negative’ results, but the tumor turned out to be an Endometrium Stromal Sarcoma. It carries a 15% survival rate. It’s a very rare cancer that hits 4% of women. Of course I would get *this* cancer. When they removed the uterus and the tumor, we had no certainty that the cells did not breach the uterus wall. The oncologist gave me a choice, which was really no choice. There was nothing to radiate, and no guarantee that they didn’t get all of the cancer and remove it with the uterus. I decided to ‘watch and wait’. I should have gone with the chemo therapy right then. The new tumor grew to the size of a softball within a month, located in my pelvic region right over my vagina. I was told this was an aggressive form of cancer. When the tumor finally showed, we had to start chemo right away. The good news is that there’s no pain, not like I had at the beginning of this fight. The second CT scan showed the tumor had not grown in two months and the lymph nodes around it had started shrinking. I had another CT scan this week, results TBA, But there’s no pain, not like before. Death is teaching me things. It’s been five months. Other than being ill after the chemo, I feel normal, I feel fine. As aggressive as they say this cancer is, it’s slowing down. It’s a long road, I’ve got a heavy fight still in front of me, but this day my blogs will be dealing with what Death is teaching me. I wanted to start with the vision, first. I’m facing Death in the eye and I’ll be damned if I blink first. He’s going to turn his back on me. He’s going to give up before I do. I’m holding onto that. With that being said, let the day begin. 🙂

One thought on “Staring Death In The Face…”

  1. Google-search “Cancer – German heat treatment” and read all the entries. Yes, I’m serious! This treatment has a 90% cure ratio. If necessary, beg, borrow or steal enough $$ to go to Germany for the treatment; it isn’t “approved” in the US.

    –Leslie < )O(

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