I’ve just done one of the hardest things for me, and I’ve done it twice!
For a writer, letting go of your book is like letting your child go out into the world – the most terrible wrench. A psychologist friend who was consultant to the Society of Authors used to say we all suffered from post-parturition at this stage of the writing. It certainly feels like that to me. I’ve just let two of my babies go out into the world, get listed at Amazon.com, Baker & Taylor, and Barnes & Noble. Brick and mortar book-stores, NACSCORP, and the Espresso Book Machine may also stock the titles. It feels like a huge step :-). I’ve done it before with the other books but each time it hurts, I worry, panic a bit even … Is the book OK? Have I done the best I could? Once you take this step it’s very difficult to go back and make a revision.
But I shouldn’t want to. I’ve been all round that with revisions and edits and so-on and so-forth. Somehow that doesn’t take the wrench away. They’re off now, out in the Big Wide World, I must let go.
Which two have gone? Owl Woman and Moon Song. They’ve been in print for a while but this is the final distribution push.I’ve written them, they are finished, I mustn’t worry at them like a terrier with an old bone. Letting go of them, with the formal ritual of accepting and agreeing to their distribution is a rite of passage – for them and for me. It clears the space. I feel there is space now in which to concentrate on the first of the Ergyng Chronicles, Oak Man. Dyfrig and Jenni have waited a long time for me to give them my full attention, now I should be able to begin to do so. I can feel them brewing up at the back of my mind, little pictures and ideas, thoughts, words, relationships, conflicts, all the things that go to make up a story.
There are more potential children, ptoential stories, crowding the borderlands between Otherworld and Thisworld, wanting to come to life here, clamouring at me to bring them to life. Yes, yes, I can hear you! But I can only do so much at a time. I won’t forget you. You’ll all have your time.