Writing Bad Poetry

Writing bad poetry’s terribly easy

Glib little couplets their line endings cheesy

With words that rhyme but make no sense

Although these two lines are quite coherent, I’ll say in my defence

Even if I did mutilate the rhythm a bit there

And then couldn’t get a rhyme on this one.

For the sacrifice of sense

The poet must watch

You can’t just say whatever rhymes

Like throwing in a scotch

For no reason.

The rhythm, the rhythm, the rhythm,

Oh please

Which walks and then crawls

And then it falls down in its knees, really badly

With a rather embarrassing sigh.

Meter or no meter, choose by all means

But limping between the two

Is often hideous and feels really awkward.

And getting a rhyme by repeating a word,

Sure, word rhymes with word

So far as I’ve heard

But it sucks.

If you’re going to rhyme

Want to do it all the time

As the tension starts to climb

Doing it and stopping

Sounds a bit silly

Now that I think about it.

You can rhyme alternate lines

Or the end of a stanza

Use internal echoes sometimes

Try half rhymes, they are grand sir!

If you don’t like structure

Make exquisite free verse

That flows, river smooth

Across the page

Be

Truly

Free with it

Take no prisoners with clichés

Keep your metaphors unmixed

For a mixed metaphor is like

A bull in a church.

A fart in a china shop

They make no sense.

Your poetry is like a blossoming flower

And I am drowning in its sea.

Don’t steal from famous writers

Smart people will notice this.

But if you can avoid these traps

You will be a poet

My son.

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