Urban Paganism: Dealing with the Myths of Sex, Sex, & More Sex


During Ancient times in certain civilizations, during certain celebrations our Ancient Ancestors became famous for debauchery and free spirited orgies—according to up-to-date prying eyes.

Now a days, if you say you are going out to a Pagan gathering celebrating a fertility ritual, then all eyes and most mouths foam forming images of you stripping down to the buff and humping the leg off whatever moves. This in turn creates many myths, rumors, and false stereotypes concerning Paganism—and with that—many jerks who are more than prepared to use it to their full advantage.

That means many people will attempt to use Paganism as their excuse and means to influence others into their chosen behaviors. Meaning—you meet a guy or girl who claims to be Pagan –who then claims that its perfectly natural to take many lovers and sometimes at the same time.

Ah, no.

If you are new to the city, new to the country, new to Paganism in general, then don’t fall for that line no more than you’d fall for…

“Hey baby, are you tired?”

“Uh, no, why?”

“Because you’ve been runnin’ through my mind all night!”


Sex is not a requirement of Paganism—just an individual– depending on what they desire. Now that’s not to say anyone taking many lovers are in the wrong—just know its a choice, not a divine requirement.

For new Urban Pagans moving through crowds, you may be drawn to the elders or peers of your chosen path. Unfortunately there are many pervs and creeps out there moving under the guise of false Paganism. They will be so slick in pulling you in…so wise and so very charming. However, beware of what they attempt to teach you as law and beware of such lines:

*All Pagans must swing it up with many, many partners.

*If you want to be a real Pagan, then gender shouldn’t matter. We will practice by having a threesome. I have a friend and she is— (Sorry, but if you don’t have the desire to be with the same sex or the opposite, then that’s a personal choice—not a Pagan must. Now if you want to go along with a threesome, then by all means do so….but that makes you a Pagan person wanting do partake in a threesome—not a Pagan ordained rule that one must do so in order to be a Pagan at all.)

*Pagans share….everything and everyone. (We do with what we feel comfortable with sharing—that doesn’t mean your man if you don’t want to.)

*I will show you the face of God and or the Goddess through powerful sex magic! (whatever lol—there are many types of magic if a Pagan even DOES magic to begin with—some do not and for those who do—what KIND of magic is their choice—not a Pagan requirement.)

*Every ritual is a sex orgy.  (I doubt it—again a big myth.)

*We don’t need a condom or protection babe, I did a spell. (WHATEVER!!!!—and yes, some guys try to pull this one. Some girls too, believe it or not. Look, those who work magic know one thing is for certain—its better to cover all bases than to depend on one thing alone. So even though someone did a spell so you wouldn’t catch an STD (sexually transmitted disease) or get pregnant—use a brain and throw on extra protection. Make your sacred places bullet proof! Your body is YOUR TEMPLE—your sacred temple….now practice some personal worship and respect and don’t let anyone come in and trash the place permanently.)




The fact is this…in many ancient civilizations, thousands did have sex believing that through the woman—they were joining with the Goddess or through the man, they were joining with the God. But that’s in certain civilizations and not everyone was down with it romping up with many, many partners. Those who were had at it…those who weren’t kept with their own private and personal lovers experiencing divinity and sexual enlightenment through them.

Sex magic can be powerful, yes, for some, but like all magic, its what YOU feel drawn to and comfortable doing. Some create Sex Magic with a partner—some by themselves. *winks*

As Pagans, generally the only thing we have in common is the fact that we don’t care what everyone else is doing as long as it doesn’t harm us or others—but on whether or not we sex it up with those others—personal choice.

So watch out for the wanna-be Creeps posing as a Pagan just so they can get their groove on. Pagans can be with one partner, with an opposite gender, with the same gender, with more than one partner and gender, have open relationships or one on one relations—its all up to the person/persons involved—its not a part of the general term Paganism. While we believe sex is beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of….we don’t believe who does what and with how many creates a better or more knowledgeable Pagan. Be true to yourself and don’t fall for any tricks. be comfortable in your own Pagan skin…follow your heart, not someone’s words.

C.H. Scarlett

7 thoughts on “Urban Paganism: Dealing with the Myths of Sex, Sex, & More Sex”

    1. lol I met a guy once who had women believing that sex with him would heighten their psychic powers and soothe their dark visions which they viewed to be a insufferable curse…. because he knew ancient tantric secrets that could awaken their subconscious and quiet the demons which tormented them. Amazing hu?


  1. Terrific article, CH and agree with you.

    I once was determined to study druidism…the gentleman leading the course was informative, well-read and absolutely assured of his godhood. His wife absolutely adored him and he her, a plus in my book.
    Until I recognized a pattern to his “teaching”.

    His conversations always revolved around what a manly man with goddess leanings. I was there to study druidism as interpreted by modern culture, NOT worship him. I was chilled to the bone when he stated he wanted to start his own community eventually, echoes of cults in deadly standoffs and mass suicides started dancing in my head.

    I’ve studied on my own since then. 😉



    1. Oh yeah, beware the Charlie Manson wanna-be-Gods out there as well. I have met my fair share of them. They teach unconditional love, how one must purge their humanity and strive to return to their love, light, and whatever else. They seem very wise at first, having MANY flock to them admiring and learning, but then the moment you disagree or refer to them as anything other than a vessel of God or God incarnate, the ugliness emerges.

      *chills* there are weirdo’s EVERYWHERE.


  2. LOL! That was a fantastic article with just enough humor to make a very serious subject fun to read about. Kudos to you for tackling a very tricky subject!


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