“Marriage”–What? Why Can’t Gays Get Married?

One of the largest arguments denying people who live a Gay lifestyle the right to be married is the controversial matter of marriage itself. Many who serve up this argument claim that by letting a Gay couple marry, it belittles and brings demeaning to the sanctity of marriage.

I found this curious since these people seem to hold a religious stance, particularly Christianity or Catholic. Now this isn’t an attempt to bash their faith but the evidence that I found seemed to clash with today’s views. Why?

Well, it seems marriage predates Christianity and what‘s more important, the Church opposed it.

The word marriage derives from maritare, a Latin word. Marriage, the ceremony and act is older than the Church–Pagans seemed to be doing it first, or so that is what I am led to believe. Yes, I know that the rituals and supporting facts can be debated but it is actually the stance of the church in it’s early years that caught my interest.  In fact, the idea of the Goddess having anything to do with this Pagan ritual, marriage, disgusted the early fathers of the Church so much that they voiced it, were quoted in saying it, and often preached about it.

Here is what they said:

Origen was noted saying, “Matrimony is impure and unholy, a means of sexual passion.”

Saint Jerome said, “The primary purpose of a man of God was to cut down with an axe of Virginity the wood of Marriage.”

Saint Ambrose said, “Marriage was a crime against God, because it changed the state of virginity that God gave every man and woman at birth. Marriage was prostitution of the members of Christ and “Married people ought to blush at the state in which they are living.”

Tertullian claimed marriage was a moral crime, “more dreadful than any punishment or any death.”

St. Augustine–my favorite of all bitter people, bluntly claimed that marriage was SIN.

Tatian said marriage was a corruption, a pollution and foul way of life. By his words, Syrian Churches made a law that only celibate men could be a Christian and that no married man or any who had been married could even be baptized.

St. Bernard claimed that it was easier for a man to resurrect the dead than it was to live with a woman endangering his soul.

St. Paul damned marriage saying to marry was at least better than burning–I Corinthians 7:9 (not by much) but later on his followers became even more bitter and against it.  They even dragged Jesus into the mix:
Luke 14:26–If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea and his own life also, he can not be my disciple.

Jerome took this and ran with it. He used it to destroy marriage and the Family especially since Jesus renounced his in Mark 3:31-35. Jerome claimed that any man who loved his wife passionately was guilty of adultery. He was disgusted by motherhood, “the tumefaction of the uterus, the care of yelling infants, all those fond feelings which death at last cuts short.”

I am confused…did the Amazons snatch these men up, beat them retarded and then vomit them back into the world? Talk about chauvinistic, women hating, bitter little grumps.

Now I am not out to belittle every Christian or God fearing person’s marriage but I am attempting to damage the ridiculous claim that people of different lifestyles can not marry because it belittles the sanctity and institution of marriage. That it goes against the meaning of marriage based on the church and bible. I can’t even say I am sorry because what I have researched doesn’t support that claim.

I mean as if this argument alone is fair and reasonable play: Why does someone else and the way they choose to live their life affect and demean yours? If two leprechauns and a purple dog get married then why does that make a straight man and his wife’s marriage mean less? Why are you allowing the actions of others define what something means to you? And obviously it doesn’t mean a lot since people get married just for the hell of it and then divorced because someone left their socks on the floor. Marriage at this point in time is not sacred (in general) and no one is yelling about that…as long as it isn’t being taken seriously by straight couples right? That’s demented, in my opinion and perhaps might be the problem. I mean how hilarious would it be if the divorce rate of Gay couples were less than those of straight couples?

I think the argument and battle refusing any person the right to get married is a waste of breath. I don’t think there should even be a legal fight about this. Who are we to dictate the lifestyles of other people? Who are we to say who can marry, who can adopt, and who can be with who? We need to stay focused on our own lives, our own home, and our own business. Do we believe that if we deny a Gay couple the right to be married that they won’t exist? News flash, Gays  have been around since the dawn of time because love is what it is. It has no boundaries, period, and sometimes I think that people who are blessed with that, are happier than any of us.

Marriage is a decision decided by two people…it means what it means to them…God, Goddess or whatever they believe in. Be secure in what it means to you and stop using it as a means to control the actions and desires of another. We should mind our own business I think.

This is actually an interesting subject so I’ll be doing another on Pagan customs concerning marriage–vows used by the Angelo-Saxons, Greeks, and other Ancient Cultures.

Resources for the above:

The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths & Secrets by Barbara G. Walkers

Interesting material


16 thoughts on ““Marriage”–What? Why Can’t Gays Get Married?”

  1. There are still religious fanatics who equate abstinence with holiness, when in fact it can be very bad for both physical and mental health to suppress our sexual natures.

    Marriage is seen by traditionalists of many religions as a ‘cop-out’ for those who can’t handle the rigors of celibacy on the way to ultimate holiness. Nothing could be more wrongheaded, imo. Even the Buddha discovered that mortifications were an obstacle to enlightenment and gave them up for ‘the middle way’.

    Every now and then I will rant on the subject of why sex, including erotic writing, is good for you. Like vegetables.

    Why would we deny people who happen to be gay their ‘vegetables’? They can’t help being allergic to heterosexuality instead of shellfish or something!


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