“Marriage”–What? Why Can’t Gays Get Married?

One of the largest arguments denying people who live a Gay lifestyle the right to be married is the controversial matter of marriage itself. Many who serve up this argument claim that by letting a Gay couple marry, it belittles and brings demeaning to the sanctity of marriage.

I found this curious since these people seem to hold a religious stance, particularly Christianity or Catholic. Now this isn’t an attempt to bash their faith but the evidence that I found seemed to clash with today’s views. Why?

Well, it seems marriage predates Christianity and what‘s more important, the Church opposed it.

The word marriage derives from maritare, a Latin word. Marriage, the ceremony and act is older than the Church–Pagans seemed to be doing it first, or so that is what I am led to believe. Yes, I know that the rituals and supporting facts can be debated but it is actually the stance of the church in it’s early years that caught my interest.  In fact, the idea of the Goddess having anything to do with this Pagan ritual, marriage, disgusted the early fathers of the Church so much that they voiced it, were quoted in saying it, and often preached about it.

Here is what they said:

Origen was noted saying, “Matrimony is impure and unholy, a means of sexual passion.”

Saint Jerome said, “The primary purpose of a man of God was to cut down with an axe of Virginity the wood of Marriage.”

Saint Ambrose said, “Marriage was a crime against God, because it changed the state of virginity that God gave every man and woman at birth. Marriage was prostitution of the members of Christ and “Married people ought to blush at the state in which they are living.”

Tertullian claimed marriage was a moral crime, “more dreadful than any punishment or any death.”

St. Augustine–my favorite of all bitter people, bluntly claimed that marriage was SIN.

Tatian said marriage was a corruption, a pollution and foul way of life. By his words, Syrian Churches made a law that only celibate men could be a Christian and that no married man or any who had been married could even be baptized.

St. Bernard claimed that it was easier for a man to resurrect the dead than it was to live with a woman endangering his soul.

St. Paul damned marriage saying to marry was at least better than burning–I Corinthians 7:9 (not by much) but later on his followers became even more bitter and against it.  They even dragged Jesus into the mix:
Luke 14:26–If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea and his own life also, he can not be my disciple.

Jerome took this and ran with it. He used it to destroy marriage and the Family especially since Jesus renounced his in Mark 3:31-35. Jerome claimed that any man who loved his wife passionately was guilty of adultery. He was disgusted by motherhood, “the tumefaction of the uterus, the care of yelling infants, all those fond feelings which death at last cuts short.”

I am confused…did the Amazons snatch these men up, beat them retarded and then vomit them back into the world? Talk about chauvinistic, women hating, bitter little grumps.

Now I am not out to belittle every Christian or God fearing person’s marriage but I am attempting to damage the ridiculous claim that people of different lifestyles can not marry because it belittles the sanctity and institution of marriage. That it goes against the meaning of marriage based on the church and bible. I can’t even say I am sorry because what I have researched doesn’t support that claim.

I mean as if this argument alone is fair and reasonable play: Why does someone else and the way they choose to live their life affect and demean yours? If two leprechauns and a purple dog get married then why does that make a straight man and his wife’s marriage mean less? Why are you allowing the actions of others define what something means to you? And obviously it doesn’t mean a lot since people get married just for the hell of it and then divorced because someone left their socks on the floor. Marriage at this point in time is not sacred (in general) and no one is yelling about that…as long as it isn’t being taken seriously by straight couples right? That’s demented, in my opinion and perhaps might be the problem. I mean how hilarious would it be if the divorce rate of Gay couples were less than those of straight couples?

I think the argument and battle refusing any person the right to get married is a waste of breath. I don’t think there should even be a legal fight about this. Who are we to dictate the lifestyles of other people? Who are we to say who can marry, who can adopt, and who can be with who? We need to stay focused on our own lives, our own home, and our own business. Do we believe that if we deny a Gay couple the right to be married that they won’t exist? News flash, Gays  have been around since the dawn of time because love is what it is. It has no boundaries, period, and sometimes I think that people who are blessed with that, are happier than any of us.

Marriage is a decision decided by two people…it means what it means to them…God, Goddess or whatever they believe in. Be secure in what it means to you and stop using it as a means to control the actions and desires of another. We should mind our own business I think.

This is actually an interesting subject so I’ll be doing another on Pagan customs concerning marriage–vows used by the Angelo-Saxons, Greeks, and other Ancient Cultures.

Resources for the above:

The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths & Secrets by Barbara G. Walkers

Interesting material


Pagan Calendar– Holidays & Desktop Wallpaper July 2009

Below are all the days I could find for July. The Calendar is an eclectic one. It features Roman Holidays, Celtic, Welsh, Norse, Egyptian, Greek, etc. Now there is also a Pagan Calendar to use as a Desktop Wallpaper.

Preview (SMALL size–do not right click & save as– Preview. This will not fit on your screen)

Links to various sizes. Just follow the link you want, right click and save as.

Desktop Size: 1680×1050

Desktop Size: 1680×1200

Desktop Size: 1024×768

Desktop size: 800×600

Note: On the Calendars for Desktop, I can only fit but so much information. So, I added 1 holiday per day plus moons. For more information concerning the days, make a copy of the information below. Let me know if you like them and I’ll keep making them.  If you recognize these calendars from a year back, they are the same ones made by Beloved Isis, a screen name I used for years.

Happy Pagan Holidays!
C.H. Scarlett

Pagan Calendar July/2009 Holidays


*Kalends of July
*Nostradamus fulfills his last prophecy on this day by dying exactly when he predicted.


*Rome-feast of expectant mothers


*Dog Days-ruled by Sirius–Dog star
*Egypt honors Goddess Sophet–Goddess of the Dog Star
*Greek festival for Goddess Athena
*Welsh- Today is sacred to Cerridwen


*Roman festival for the Goddess Concordia
*The Day (in Rome) despite the Festival is dedicated to the Roman Goddess Pax and the Greek Goddess of peace, Eirene


*Today the Earth’s orbit is farthest from the sun.
*1st of 2 festivals in Rome–Poplifugium
*Egypt- This day is sacred to Ma’at


*Rome: Today is the Remembrance of Julian–Roman Emperor –Flavius Claudius Julianus 331-363
He actually restored Rome to its Pagan roots and traditions after Constantine I and his supporters handed it over to Christianity. Julian rebelled, having his own legion which made him Emperor..when Constantine I died shortly after, Julian took his place. He died in Battle sometime later, without wearing armor. He was that sure in his skills and himself.


*Roman festival of Consus–God of Earth.
*Also–Roman festival of Handmaids
*Also honoring Goddess Juno–the 2nd feast of Roman Poplifugium
*Nones of July
*Celtic Tree month of Duir Ends


*Norse- Observance of Sunna
*Celtic tree Month of Tinne Begins


* Greater Panathenaea- Greek Festival in honar of Anthena
* Rome–Vestalia: Honor of Vesta


*Lady Godiva rode naked on this day in protest of her husband’s steep taxes
*Norse celebration of Skadi or Skadhi
*Month of Rosea Ends


*Honor of Theano: She was married to Pythagoras and was one of few women who contributed to mathematics.
*Goddess month of Kerea Begins


*Egyptian Holiday for Sokar
*Egyptian Festival of Ptah


*Magician, Astronomer, Alchemist, & Hermetic Philosopher John Dee was born on this day in 1527
*Birthday of Egypt’s Ra
*At Sundown–marks the feast of Cerridwen–Welsh


* Birthday of Osiris –Egypt
*Runic ½ month of Ur Commences


*This day is sacred to the Norse Rowana
*Greece–Scirophoria–Festival in honor of Athena
*Ides of July


*Egypt–Birthday of Set, Seth


*Egypt–Birthday of Isis


*Egypt–Birthday of Nepthys


*Midpoint ½ year of Adonis‘ presence in world marked by wedding to Aphrodite
*Egyptian New YEAR
*Egyptian wedding anniversary of Isis and Osiris


*Feast of Thoth–Egypt


*Remembrance of seeress Damo–daughter of Pythagoras
*Egyptian Birthday of Aten


*Rosicrucian–On this day a document was published verifying and proving the existence of the Rosicrucian. Before this, it was only speculated.


*Rome-festival of Neptunalia & Salacia


*Festival of Hathor


*This day is sacred to the Roman Goddess Furrna


*Norse festival of Sleipnir

*Honoring Queen Hatshepsut


*3 day festival of Chrom Dubh


*Norse –Thor is honored by a festival
*Runic ½ month of Thor begins


*Final day of Chrom Dubh


*Norse Observance Loki & Sigyn
*Celtic observance for Oodche Lugnasa
*Lammas Eve

C.H. Scarlett

Web site: http://chscarlett.net

Twitter: http://twitter.com/CHScarlett

Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/chscarlett

Blog: http://chscarlett.wordpress.com/

Updates Blog: http://apps.chscarlett.net/blog/

***Art used under Free Use Act. No copyright infringement intended. All artists (that I could find) are embedded on their piece of work I used. If you like the art then please go buy it from the sources. These Calendars are FREE. You may share them and you may add your own information to them if you have the software but please, when sharing, share the original. You can also share the information concerning the days but please be kind and link back to this blog as the original source.***

Interview with Rhiannon Rhodes Dark Roast Press

Just so I would have something to bring to the table –I decided to interview my publisher Rhiannon Rhodes of Dark Roast Press. Now I am not in the business of interviewing but I did attempt to ask her questions that hopefully will give others an inside view of what she is all about. For all writers, I checked and Dark Roast Press is open for submissions.My questions are in bold and her answers are in Italic. And before I forget, you can check Dark Roast Press out for yourself by clicking HERE.

The Interview

A big hello to Rhiannon Rhodes–owner and creator of Dark Roast Press Publishing. First, thank you for doing this interview. Second, here’s hoping I do you justice lol.

Third, tell us a little about yourself.

Hey C, thanks for having me! Oh wow where do I start… I am a 32-year-old college student by day and an Erotic publisher in between homework and family. Born and raised in Chicago, I grew up reading books and loving Sci-Fi TV. I may have a slight obsession with Star Trek and Star Wars and little TV show called Supernatural. I mean just a slight obsession **whistles innocently**. When I am not working towards Dark Roast or doing schoolwork, I am usually reading fanfic from the various fandoms I love. The mentioned above of a part of those fandoms I am a part of. I am somewhat boring really.

What inspired you to open a publishing house and dive head first into this crazy business?

I accidentally fell into this whole world about five or six years ago now. I was unemployed due to cutbacks and while looking for a new job I stumbled across a Hayden Christensen yahoo fangroup. I joined and met some great people who shared the same love for reading I have. Over time and a few crit groups later, I began my own Yahoo group with some friends. They later branched out and created the now defunct Aphrodites Apples Press. That press was home to some fabulous writers. Meanwhile, I stayed in the slash (aka GLBT in fandom) fanfic world until about two years ago when Aphodities Apples needed someone in promotions and recruitment. They wanted to branch out into GLBT fiction and I was asked to help. Just before the GLBT books were to be released, Aphrodites Apples had to close. I was left with four authors who were optimistic of being published. By this time, I made so many friends in the business and learned so much that I thought I would be able to break into this business. Those four authors deserved to be published and I wanted to make it happen.

It is crazy and it is a lot of hard work but really it’s phenomenal. I have met great people, work with amazing authors and love every aspect of it. It does have its downsides and sometimes it like dealing with high school drama all over again but the ePublishing business is an experience I wouldn’t trade for the world.

What makes Dark Roast Press different in your eyes or how do you hope to make it different versus the many other Publishing houses out there?

We started out having a GLBT focus. It’s what I knew and it’s what I have experience in but we have become so much more than that. That evolution and constant growth is what I want for Dark Roast. I had a post it note at my desk, though now it has lost its stick and is now in a book but every day I would look at these words, “slow and steady, smart and sassy”. The “Black Coffee Crowd,” a term I borrowed and ran with, is just that. They are readers that are smart with a touch of smart-ass to them. They like their stories just like they like their cup of coffee – no mess and no frills just a cup of coffee, strong but flavorful. Klatsch members are those that want to get away in a story that is believable yet imaginative and will make them think a little. Every publisher has a niche, some love the fantasy world of happy tried and true stories and some love the pure sex all the time stories, Dark Roast tries to be somewhere in between.

Since I have worked with you concerning my book Bound by Blood: The Awakening, I know you’re real big on quality verses quantity. I also know you are not afraid of controversy or publishing something that may go against the grain compared to what other publishing houses accept. I know that you have your own personal tastes but can think outside the box when it comes to a genre other than your own choices. Can you explain to our readers what that means, the Quality especially? What are you looking for when it comes to submissions? Can you give us some examples of your writers and what makes them shine in your eyes, their talent?

My main focus is the story. It’s the bottom line. I don’t care how long it takes for an author to get their story out as long as they get that story out. Once that story is out then you go to work. Words are raw and sometimes need direction. Really, that’s the brilliance of the story, the raw untamed work that authors turns in. When I read, for submissions for copy editing, I look for that spark that shows the heart an author puts into their work. Most of the time the heart equates to quality. I can tell when someone has poured over a story when you can see the thought and effort that go into it.

That being said I am flexible. There are books out there full of things society does not like or would rather hide off in a corner. Our readers are not afraid of those things and neither am I. I could sit here and quote a few rather meaningful clichés but in the long run, the things that are considered bad evil or wrong can make a story that is good and right. Luckily, I have authors that have the same beliefs. All of them, including you, have taken something to its utmost point. That is real writing – push your words, push yourself and push your readers.

What are your goals concerning Dark Roast Press?

I want to get the name out there. Fame and fortune are not what I am looking for but I am looking for my authors to have their work recognized. They are the rock stars I just give them the stage. Plugging forward, though, eventually I want to see us in print and in a brick and mortar. It’s not something I want to go into lightly but it’s a big move that I want to make sure Dark Roast does right.

Any author out there knows that there are plenty of sites that will not touch an e-book–for reviews or reading. According to those sites, anything Epublished isn’t worth being published at all. They claim the books couldn’t cut it in the real world, are chalked full of errors, or are no better than being self published. Now this is changing and changing fast. I have even found Agents that consider an author who is Epublished, to be legit. I guess what it all boils down to is a few bad apples ruin the bunch which can be said for any subject or profession. Still, when you come across places like this, that are head strong and stubborn against authors who are Epublished, how does that make you feel and how much more determined does it make you to prove them wrong?

To many, ePublishing was a hobby, a creative outlet. The business isn’t taken seriously because some feel we are not serious ourselves. Many have the impression that one may be a lonely housewife who is bored with nothing to do. That most certainly is not the case but when I come across those that have this view, I must laugh. I know my authors have more talent in their pinkies than some authors in the brick and mortars. I would throw any DRP book up against the books of the “establishment.” A fine author is one who can weave a colorful tale from old dusty words. That author needs no pedigree and could easily be found living in your neighbor’s basement. For every DRP authors & friend that recieve the positive review and the book of the month award is one more piece of evidence that proves the naysayers wrong. Find an ePublishing house that gives a damn about its content and I bet ya a Snickers bar, their writers are gold!

Where do you see the future of publishing heading? Where do you see or hope to see Epublishing in the next 5-10 years?

I see ePublishing validating itself. It will be a slow process but we will get there. We will be just as equal in respect to the traditional method. ePublishing doesn’t need to surpass the traditional method in sales or any aspect really, just garner the respect of being called a good read by those that paved the publishing way.

When I first researched Epubs and Small Presses, I learned that they were starting to take the world by storm. They weren’t as commercial as most Traditional Publishers were and had no fear of publishing against the grain. Some even say that they made it easy for people to read erotica of all levels again and then there are the more controversial genres to consider. What mark do you think Epubs and Small Presses are making in the world?

ePublishing is another option and a viable one at that. Our base is electronic media, the wave of the future and everything that the human mind could want is open on the internet. There is always the chance of a young child or adolescent picking up a book in the bookstore or your home that they shouldn’t read. ePublishing allows a certain level of guaranteed security and anonymity. You can always password encode a website and lock up a file in your computer. With taking the risks out of the situation, one is free to explore what is in the deep recesses of their mind. One can learn something they had not known before or come alive under a kink they keep secret. In many ways, ePublishers offer the same level of freedom their reader can find in their homes and bedrooms. ePublishing will always be attractive because we give them an arena to be themselves.

Thank you Rhiannon for giving us such in-depth answers and showing us what Rhiannon Rhodes and her publishing house Dark Roast Press is all about.

Thanks C for giving me the opportunity to speak with everyone.