Think Taboo: Kink and Disability

There are hundreds of thousands, if not many millions, of people that participate in some form of kink. Whether it’s spanking or bondage, dominance or discipline, it can bring so much to our lives.

It can be hard to meet these needs, though, when one has a disability or chronic illness of some kind. Having the flu can get in the way of fun, but when you’re sick and won’t be getting all the way better, it can make navigating the BDSM world daunting. On top of that, liking erotic pain is sometimes denigrated by those with a similar illness, or even treating doctors. Even liking bondage, if you have an illness that limits movement, is considered taboo. It strikes others as too similar in experience, but we who are kinky know that it’s choice that makes all the difference in the world.

There’s a difference between erotic pain and pain from an illness. One feels good, sparks off desire, and the other feels bad. I have Fibromyalgia, and was diagnosed…wow, 10 years ago now. When I was 19, I went into a Fibro chat on AOL under a screen name that showed my leanings toward kink, spanking in particular at that time. And those people jumped all over me. “How can you like that? Guess you can’t be in much pain after all, if you want someone to hurt you.” I tried to explain that it wasn’t the same, but they would hear none of it. So I left the chat, and wondered if there was something wrong with me.

So how do you survive the kink world with an illness? Perhaps the better question is: how do you survive the medical world with a kink? Certain aspects of erotic pain, and eroticism in general, can produce intense endorphins that actually help manage other kinds of pain.

It’s not the place of others to judge you. On the other hand, doctors are required to report when they think one is in an abusive situation. An important step to take is to find a kink aware professional to help you with your health, if at all possible. There is a master list of them at the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom’s website.

It also helps to have a partner who understands your condition. If you aren’t in a relationship, you really need to make sure any play partners know of your condition, for safety’s sake. Chronic illness doesn’t have to hold you back from kink completely, though you may have to make some compromises. Some days will be better than others, and you should really take advantage of them.

If kink is one of the things that makes your life fulfilling, don’t let illness stop you from going for it. Because no matter how taboo it is, it’s even more vital to make the life you have the one you truly wish to live.

Be safe! Be adventurous! Be taboo!

Dena Celeste

http://redlipstickjournals.blogspotcom

http://www.denaceleste.com

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