Three times recently I’ve had to say goodbye.
Although none of my goodbyes compare to any major life change, i.e. the death of a loved one or birth with your accompanied goodbye to freedom, my farewells hurt.
No matter how fitting the situation, no matter how good or how bad, I’ve come to believe little sucks worse than saying goodbye.
I first said goodbye to a character, my Zagzagel, the star of my The Zagzagel Diaries series at Untreed Reads Publishing. As with many characters, it was Zag’s time to go. He dredged up story after story from the recesses of my memories, some I’d locked away so deep I never intended to revisit, some I will have to forget all over again. Zaggy was like that, always prying into my soul to come up with his next story. Needless to say, I grew tired… exhausted from his intrusion, actually. So Zagzagel got his final story this week in LOVED, and I had to say goodbye even when he stubbornly refused to leave. We had the best of times, and I understand his readers will miss him… and I appreciate all the mail I’m receiving, truly. But it was time. I feel good letting Zaggy go.
My next goodbye, though it has been in the works for over a year, wasn’t as welcomed. I said goodbye to my son. Nineteen year old Zackary is moving out this week and will be leaving for basic in June. I sometimes wonder how something I know is the right thing to do–saying goodbye to Zack, in this instance–can seem so wrong. For all our ups and downs, he’s a good boy–man. Though I’ll miss my YA writing partner, I just hope he at least continues to write home.
And last but not least…
I tried to argue.
“No,” he says, and I swear I felt his proverbial warm arm drape my shoulders, “I’m ready.”
Wow. That was my only reply, for I had to stop and wonder just who in the world would publish a romance where death is the ending.
My concerns were answered when Dreamspinner accepted my short story (a Day Dream) At Day’s End for their new Bittersweet line, making my goodbye to Samuel not as horrific as I’d anticipated. Still, I don’t like writing about death even when it’s necessary.
So, yeah, in just a few short weeks, I’ve said goodbye too many times. In retrospect, I know each instance was needed. Regardless, I felt the pain, each and every time.
Until next time.
Bryl R. Tyne
Author, Editor, & Graphic Designer