Three times recently I’ve had to say goodbye.
Although none of my goodbyes compare to any major life change, i.e. the death of a loved one or birth with your accompanied goodbye to freedom, my farewells hurt.
No matter how fitting the situation, no matter how good or how bad, I’ve come to believe little sucks worse than saying goodbye.
The Good
I first said goodbye to a character, my Zagzagel, the star of my The Zagzagel Diaries series at Untreed Reads Publishing. As with many characters, it was Zag’s time to go. He dredged up story after story from the recesses of my memories, some I’d locked away so deep I never intended to revisit, some I will have to forget all over again. Zaggy was like that, always prying into my soul to come up with his next story. Needless to say, I grew tired… exhausted from his intrusion, actually. So Zagzagel got his final story this week in LOVED, and I had to say goodbye even when he stubbornly refused to leave. We had the best of times, and I understand his readers will miss him… and I appreciate all the mail I’m receiving, truly. But it was time. I feel good letting Zaggy go.
The Bad
My next goodbye, though it has been in the works for over a year, wasn’t as welcomed. I said goodbye to my son. Nineteen year old Zackary is moving out this week and will be leaving for basic in June. I sometimes wonder how something I know is the right thing to do–saying goodbye to Zack, in this instance–can seem so wrong. For all our ups and downs, he’s a good boy–man. Though I’ll miss my YA writing partner, I just hope he at least continues to write home.
And last but not least…
The Dead
The last goodbye came as a shock. As I was writing my upcoming release, Samuel, my main character, looks up from the page and says to 
me, “I’m going to die.”
I tried to argue.
“No,” he says, and I swear I felt his proverbial warm arm drape my shoulders, “I’m ready.”
Wow. That was my only reply, for I had to stop and wonder just who in the world would publish a romance where death is the ending.
My concerns were answered when Dreamspinner accepted my short story (a Day Dream) At Day’s End for their new Bittersweet line, making my goodbye to Samuel not as horrific as I’d anticipated. Still, I don’t like writing about death even when it’s necessary.
So, yeah, in just a few short weeks, I’ve said goodbye too many times. In retrospect, I know each instance was needed. Regardless, I felt the pain, each and every time.
Until next time.
Bryl R. Tyne
bryltyne.com
Author, Editor, & Graphic Designer
Blogs I write for:
Defying Description
The Rainbow Studio
Frothing Authors
Contact Bryl @ 
Filed under: Bryl R. Tyne, Column: My Way, Fiction, Relationships Tagged: | Bryl R. Tyne, death, Dreamspinner, family, Fiction, goodbye, military, Romance, Untreed Reads Publishing, writing, Zagzagel
I didn’t know your son was going in the Army (I presume, since you didn’t specify). I know how you feel. In 2007 I sent my youngest son, Cody off to the Marine Corps when he was 17. So hard to let go, yet, you will find you really never do…and neither has he. Cody had been in boot for 8 weeks before he was allowed a phone call home. I cried my eyes out and I could hear his voice breaking when he said, “Mom, stop it. If you make me cry in front of everyone, I’ll have to do 150 push ups.” Which of course, made me laugh. We flew out to CA for boot graduation. It was the proudest day of my life. So even though your little boy has grown up, there is a part of him that will always be mama’s little boy. You know where I am if you need a shoulder. Much love.
Rie
Thanks, Rie. I’m not sure I can relate, but I understand your intention so thanks.
Yeah. Saying goodbye sucks.
Lost my mom and my dog within six weeks of each other.
Those that have had a dog, or a mother for that matter, will understand.
I killed three of my characters during that period. One wants to come back as an angel. Now that I’m accepting life continues regardless of how I feel about, I just might let him.
I lost my dad back in ’89… haven’t tasted death’s sting that close to home since and am not looking forward to it, no matter how inevitable.
Angels are always good–of course, I’m biased.
Saying goodbye sucks, I’ve always hated it, no matter what form it takes. We’ll write through it
Bryl! You’ve been a great DAD to your son and he’ll carry that with him, wherever he goes. He’s a better man for having you in his life.
As for Zag, I’m one of legions who will miss him. He grows on you. You know I didn’t want you to stop writing his stories, but I do understand how he twisted you up sometimes.
Samuel – Can’t wait till the world meets him!
Yep, goodbyes suck. Not looking forward to my own at the end of this month. It will be one of the toughest of my life. *Push through* she telling herself.
Hugs Bryl,
Brita
Ouch.
That’s a lot of time and emotional investment. I’m not even going to pretend to understand what you’re going through with your son, although I can see it through his eyes as a USAF vet. There’s no such thing as an easy goodbye, but not every one ends in tragedy or means forever.
Best wishes and safe journey to Zachary, and my hopes for a (relatively) easy and painless transition for you.
Best,
J.S.